Try and let go of the stress. If it was important she would have left a message. You have done nothing wrong.

I've made a command decision that I am going to take a nap! My head has been unhappy and I thought I might be dehydrated, but drinking hasn't helped so drugs and closed eyes are next on my list. It is after 3 on a Friday. IF my customers have issues they should call it an early weekend. Makes sense to me at this point.

Time for another exciting two-Percocet adventure. Going at 3PM for pre-op tests, where they'll probably want me to do stuff like stand and walk, so I'm dosing up.

Gud, do you ever get pissed off at her?

Not really. I tend to get frustrated at myself for making mistakes. She's a good person so it seems like if there are problems they are probably my fault. Besides, there's not anything I can do, she needs me right now, my kids need me right now, and I don't want to blow everything up.

She's a good person so it seems like if there are problems they are probably my fault.

Good people make mistakes. Take her off her pedestal. It's better to be equals.

if there are problems they are probably my fault.

NO.

Is any marriage perfect? No. But the problems are certainly not entirely your fault. Not at all.

Gud, you are a good person, and your wife should be a supportive partner who doesn't make you feel anxious and stressed.

She's a good person so it seems like if there are problems they are probably my fault.

Wait, wait, wait. The logic here is that she's a good person, and therefore...good people never contribute to problems and make mistakes? And if there are problems, then they were caused by someone who isn't a good person (since good people don't contribute to problems)? And if she's a "good person" (and therefore doesn't contribute to problems), but *you* are the source of the problems, using that logic, that makes you...not a good person.

Which is 100% BULLSHIT. Because you ARE a good person. I mean, it's also bullshit that the problems are your fault.

I also have a very difficult time reconciling "good person" with the abusive way she treats you. Good people do not treat their spouses like shit.

I tend to get frustrated at myself for making mistakes.

What was your mistake this time? Being in a regularly scheduled meeting for your job that earns money so your family can continue to eat and have a roof over their heads? Not being psychic? Not having the ability to be in the meeting AND be able to answer the phone the second it rings? I can't see a single mistake here, assuming you wish to remain employed. Does your wife earn enough money to support the entire family if you get fired for not performing your job so that you can be available to answer the phone the second she calls?

Is your role as a husband to jump to answer the phone the second your wife calls? I'd argue that NO, that's not the role of any spouse. You aren't her inept lackey, though she certainly treats you like one. You're her husband.

This is the whole reason for texts, people can answer them without stopping their whole day or when they get a break. Phone calls are aggressive intrusions.

You are also a good person, Gud. Good people make mistakes, and have bad habits, and even do things they know are wrong sometimes. Because they are people. Try not to assume you are in the wrong. Also try not to assume she is mad. These are both just thoughts formed by your mind, not necessarily reflecting the external reality you live in. It's a hard thing to remember, but it is true, and knowing that can help.

Update to PantsGate 2017: The Enpantsening -- the pants have landed! Repeat: the pants have landed! I feel like taking a picture of them and emailing it to Interfering Aunt.

Got a text, and, yeah, she was too angry to answer my calls and text. Now I'm feeling too stressed and sick to work so I think I'm going to declare myself sick and take off to go home or somewhere.