My grandfather had a bit of the inappropriateness with his dementia, which was definitely depressing, because he was never that kind of person. Fortunately, once he was in the facility, I don't think he had the kind of meanness that can develop. He was just an escape artist.

I am steroided. It is not a procedure with any dignity, I will say that. Just envision getting a shot above your tailbone, and go from there.

Twilight sedation throughout, which mostly meant I could answer when they asked if something hurt. But the most painful part of the process was the IV, and now I just lie on the couch for the rest of the day.

I have come to that point in the day when there is no way left to put off cleaning the bathroom. Bah.

I hope it helps, Dana.

I have nothing to offer but support for anyone dealing with dementia. It's so hard on everyone.

The pain management doctor who gave the shot today said that all of my other discs look great! Which I guess is something.

I left work before 10 and have been in bed since. Mostly asleep, but waking up with most work emails to make sure they did not need me to correct anything for closing.

Now mac is up and we have both had bowls of plain white rice to see how we do.

I hope it helps, Dana.

However, they did not show how heavy the congestion was at the Swedish meatballs or cashiers.

Google Maps might.

ETA: And I hope the rice works out okay, msbelle. That sounds very like what I had a month ago, and that was miserable while it lasted but went away without appreciable drama.

Steph, one of the things I read when we were dealing with my grandfather is that caregivers have to keep in mind that people with dementia cannot learn any more - they cannot learn what is appropriate or not appropriate. That's not really helpful when they say something racist or sexist and you're sitting there trying to decide what to say/do. We've all got a knee-jerk response to correct their behavior, but they're not like kids with whom you have to teach what is and is not right.

I don't have any solutions, I'm afraid, but you have my deepest sympathies.

Steph, one of the things I read when we were dealing with my grandfather is that caregivers have to keep in mind that people with dementia cannot learn any more - they cannot learn what is appropriate or not appropriate. That's not really helpful when they say something racist or sexist and you're sitting there trying to decide what to say/do. We've all got a knee-jerk response to correct their behavior, but they're not like kids with whom you have to teach what is and is not right.

At this point, I wouldn't expect Jack to retain new knowledge of "graphic comments about women = bad", but I feel like it's still appropriate to shut that line of conversation down and redirect it in the moment.

It's definitely clear that he can't learn/retain new knowledge, because literally every time he uses the bathroom, he's surprised at the catheter, and he wants to know why it's there. The boys brought a whiteboard for his room where we write down things he needs to know but won't remember, like if there's an upcoming doctor appointment, and who is taking him and what time, etc. I don't know how helpful it is.

Steph, I agree with Jesse that it is likely to get easier, at least for a bit, as his dementia progresses. But I've learned there's a LOT of variables when it comes to dementia, so I try not to predict what folks will come across. My mom's symptoms were not at all common: she had an aphasia, so she really couldn't speak much, and aboulia, which meant she wasn't really able to act on her own behalf, someone else had to initiate most of her activities.

I think the support group would be good, esp if family is still adjusting to all of this.

Sending lots of strength and love

White board sounds very helpful, at least for the staff, but for him as well if he is still able to read. And redirection seems like the right choice too, since yeah, not likely to stop himself.

He can still read, and gets the newspaper every day. He doesn't really retain much -- like, he'll remember he read something about Northside and tell us that Northside was in the paper again, but he can't remember what the article said -- but he does read it. I don't think the whiteboard will make things stick in his memory, but as long as it's in his line of sight, it'll keep calling important things to his attention.