I'll need it, I'm sure, so thanks in advance

I still feel weird talking about this year but maybe I will just get it over with.

My grandfather died. ita died. Ginger died. These were the nadirs of the year. I was laid off, but I don't even know if I can even count that as a bad thing because it's probably for the best.

I...had possibly the most amazing year of my life, ever?

This is the year my "writing career" went into fucking overdrive like I could not believe. It's been unreal. I made 84 submissions and 12 sales (10 originals, 2 reprints). I had 6 stories out. I wrote 86k words. I finished a book. I wrote book reviews for Lightspeed. I helped launch Mothership Zeta. I edited essays for POCDSF. People kept asking me to do things. Stories, blog posts, guest-editing issues, people...just kept coming to me, of all people.

I attended Taos Toolbox. I had a Kaffeeklatsch at Worldcon, where I had actual fans who liked my work. I wrote blog posts that were featured on io9.

I made close to $3000 from writing, editing, reviewing, and participating in cons.

I went from being Nobody to being Somebody and it is so confusing and I don't know how to deal with it.

I also wrote a short play that was read at the SF Olympians Festival, and people liked it.

I made a lot of amazing new friends, and I drank a lot of milkshakes. When I think about this year, I pretty much only think of good things, and then the crushing Impostor Syndrome caused by good things.

Also...last week I found out I'm going to be an uncle.

Congrats on the impending uncledom, P-C! Also the writing successes!

P-C, you have worked so hard and it's so well deserved. Kudos to you!

Amy, I wish I could give you a hug!

I would love that, Kat. I will consider myself hugged anyway.

P-C, that's a great year! But remember, you were Somebody to a lot of people before this year, too.

This was not a great year for me. Emotions and issues don't run on a 12 month cycle though, so I am not cursing the year or celebrating the new one. I am going to try to be more present and take more ownership of my happiness, fuck the rest of the bullshit (even if that sometimes is my kid). I am going to try to be kinder, not so bitter and assholish (if you want to challenge me on that, I am not sure you have spent any time with me).

I love this place dearly. It is my only safe place at times and each one of you play a part in making it that.

I wish I could give you a hug too, msbelle.

Apparently I'm in a huggy mood.

I meant to add, even though I don't post that often anymore, I still read every day. I feel like my life is so boring that I haven't much to say. But I love coming here and knowing you people in the box are still here for me.

I...had possibly the most amazing year of my life, ever?

P-C, I love knowing you had such a great year! It seriously makes me SO happy.

I went from being Nobody to being Somebody and it is so confusing and I don't know how to deal with it.

That's got to be unsettling. In the sense of, the metaphorical ground beneath your feet isn't stable.

Also...last week I found out I'm going to be an uncle.

Hooray!!!

More hugs in 2016 is a goal, not a resolution, but a goal. I sometimes go weeks with no physical contact with another human and that sucks balls.

I would say dating might happen, but that is most certainly a lie unless one of you people set me up.

This has been a year. ita, Ginger, my grandfather. I got my first tattoo. I changed jobs and moved 2000 miles, leaving behind many friends and a city I love. I'm living alone for the first time in 15 years, and it's great. Decorating the new apartment and discovering that I have Opinions about things. Tons of travel. I went to New Orleans for Mardi Gras with Dana. I went to French Polynesia with Lee, which was awesome in the fullest sense of the word. Work trips to Ireland and India. I voted in my first San Francisco election.

There's been too much to process. It probably started earlier than ita what with my unhappiness with my previous role, but I've been saying yes to every adventure. Life is too fucking short.

Things I'm definitely doing in 2016: buying more furniture and putting up more art, buying more plants for the apartment, meditating regularly again, listening to the Hamilton soundtrack, and going for my second tattoo with Lee. I'm sure I'll leave the country a few times. I'll get to the DMV at some point for a California license.

Things I'm not prepared to deal with: ita was my birthday twin + 1 day. Was. God damn it.

I love you guys. I probably would have had so many more breakdowns this year if I didn't have this board.