Congrats P-C! It feels great to celebrate the good

Ugh, that's a gut punch, shrift, no way around it

I really don't know what to say about this year, other than it was mostly just too much.

I did have some good. Charlie, and the house, and the cats, and three amazing trips to the Faroe Islands, and Vegas, and French Polynesia, all with Buffistas, and of course Juliana's Peanut, and I made it to 5 years without sign of cancer.

Unfortunately, even as good as the good could/should have been, it was outweighed by the bad.

January 2nd, I got in my first car accident ever, and it made the news. No one was seriously hurt, and even though by September I started wishing that my car (a VW diesel) had been totaled, the damage wasn't that bad, but dealing with it took up several months.

And then ita.

This was also the year that the ataxia really kicked it up a notch, and I had to really start making allowances for it. I also think I should have starting talking to a therapist about it, but I guess that is a goal for 2016.

Also, I realized that I really kind of hate my job, but am stuck there for a while, if not until I retire.

And then Ginger.

So yeah, pretty much too much, but with occasional bright spots, just about all of which involved the people here, for which I am always going to be grateful.

I am grateful for all of you. To be honest, I haven't been able to process this year yet. Too much. Some good, some bad, some confusing. Some heartbreaking. I wasn't close to ita or Ginger, but I feel their loss. I miss them.

For those wondering about our house/mold/sick cat situation, we will be living out of a single room in Drew's office for most of January. Won't be fun, but could be much worse. The contractor claims he will be done in three weeks, so cross your fingers that's accurate. We have a follow up appointment about Wilson (sick kitty) on Tuesday and will know more then. It's not cancer, but there's apparently some chronic issues going on that the vet needs to talk with us about. Fretting about that. I also have been having pretty nasty sciatica pain for the past six weeks and am having a bad flare-up tonight (spending all day on a plane will do that), but I'm still hopeful I'll be able to run the marathon in February. I'm still training as much as I can.

The good: loving husband, family and friends. A job I love. A growing business. Wonderful furry, four-legged kids. This place. I have wonderful people in my life, including the people in this box. And I'm happy about that.

Mostly what I'm feeling right now is stressed. But this will pass. I'm cautiously optimistic about 2016. That's enough for now.

So, this last year. The bookends of losing ita and Ginger loom very large. I also lost an aunt and a dear family friend to cancer in 2015.

This was also the year I made a major career change and finally left the BBC after almost eleven years. It was a terrifying move, but it turned out to be the best thing I could have done. My job is challenging and exciting and I'm so proud of the work my team is doing. (And I can't wait until we're out of beta so I can talk openly about the thing we're building!!)

One downside to the new job is missing out on the conversations here. Now that I actually work when I'm at work, I have very limited time for the internets, and I miss being an active part of this community.

The kids are at very challenging ages right now, made worse by the fact that they're both smarter than their parents. D's class continues to be a problem within an otherwise great school (we couldn't be happier with A's pre-k class). We're still trying to move to the suburbs and buy a house, so that could be the big change in 2016 if we're successful.

2015 was the year I discovered Outlander only 20 years late (but right on time for online fandom because you can't make tumblr gifsets out of books), and Hamilton right when everyone else did. It feels great to be passionately fannish again!

Aww. I'm loving reading about all yalls years, and want to cheer all the good things, and hug you for all the hard ones.

I hesitate to try to sum up a year before it's over, lest it decide it's not done screwing with me. But I'd say all in all it was an ok year. I ran five 10ks, and 11 races in total! I managed to get a bit faster, too, so that even though I'm still super slow on the "runner" scale of things, I feel a little more confident (four years in??) calling myself a "runner". Even if I'm still not 100% comfy around "real" runners. I lost about 25 pounds (like Kat!) at the beginning of he year, and am thrilled to have kept them off (makes running much easier, and makes me feel better about clothes not fitting me as opposed to feeling my body doesn't fit clothes, even if I realize that's ridiculous). I'd still like to do more (run faster, farther, or for a whole race? Lose another 15 pounds?) but mostly that part is good.

Work started getting ridiculous this year, and I'm a little burned out. It's been better the past month or two, and should be for the next two, but I'm still anxiously awaiting my mythical promotion, and feel like they're screwing with me, at this point. that all said, it's been some of the craziest work situations of my career, but I mostly came out of it looking damn good at my job, and really owning that, which is a big plus (even if it was a bit hard to feel at the time!).

And then personal life...well, good times in Puerto Vallarta with Brenda and her sister and my BFF, seeing various buffistas during some of my trips, going to whistler and Vancouver in the summer and seeing World Cup soccer, going to multiple dance conventions, seeing family and friends and the BFF in Colorado in the fall...there were definitely some excellent times. And I made a really good new friend in August, who has been awesome and I've been spending tons of time with, which has been great. Mostly though I'd like more time to see friends and do things (see work stuff), because I feel like I'm not as able to keep up my part of friendships when I'm stressed and crazy traveling, and that sucks.

All that said, I think it was mostly a good year, and I have high hopes for 2016 (lord knows I rang it in the right way!!). Fingers crossed.

My year in review: the Bringing Up Baby edition!

Spent the first half of the year pregnant and the second half of the year with a new baby, so not as much sleep for me this year as I would have liked. But Jane is such a delightful baby, and in some ways much easier than Rose was as an infant. Certainly childbirth and nursing both went much more smoothly this time, and I also had much more confidence in my skills as a parent, something that took a while to develop with Rose. So it's been a very different experience, and generally more enjoyable, except for the whole lack of sleep thing. (*yawn*)

Returning to work, on the other hand, has been much harder this time around. I was lucky enough to stay home for 14 weeks, which is the same amount of time I had at home with Rose, and even luckier to have my mother-in-law and a nanny taking care of Jane at home, so I (somewhat foolishly) thought going back to work this time would be about the same as it was with Rose, when I was (mostly) grateful for the break from baby duty. But a lot is different now: I'm still nursing, so I've had to deal with pumping at work and trying to maintain a decent supply; of course, the aforementioned lack of sleep; I've got two kids at home now, both of whom need me in very different ways; and my job now provides much more in the way of face-to-face interaction and much less in the way of time when I can just sit at my computer and zone out.

Another tough thing at work this year is that my new(ish) boss, who is now in her second year at my school, is proving to be surprisingly negative about the school and her position. And I tend to be the one she vents to about all sorts of things, including other staff members. I actually asked her when I came back in October if, in our conversations, she could focus on the positive aspects of our jobs, and she readily agreed, but then seemed to forget the request almost at once. So most of our interactions leave me feeling kind of frustrated and drained, and I find myself frequently wishing I could just stay home with Jane.

On the whole, though, I'm so grateful for my sweet, funny little family. Rose is a force of nature: imaginative, spirited, bright, creative. She loves dancing and drawing and playing with her stuffed animals and watching My Neighbor Totoro and she's starting to put letters together and read simple words and it's such an astonishing thing to witness. And Jane does this thing when you catch her eye where she bursts into a huge grin and throws herself backward with abandon like she's so overjoyed to see you that she just can't contain herself. And Mark is my rock; even when we're caught up in the endless mundanities of running a home and a family -- the groceries, the calendar, the checkbook, the baths and bedtimes -- when we get a moment to ourselves, it still feels like we're having a grand adventure together. I don't really have words for how lucky I am, and how thankful.

2015 reinforced for me just how very lucky I am to have the people in my life that I do, including all you people. The losses of ita and Ginger were so hard and, while I truly regret never having been able to be able to meet either of them in person, I'm so grateful to have gotten to know them here in a very real way.

I started the year in a job that was increasingly making me miserable. But, after much prodding from my rock of an awesome husband, I finally resolved to quit it and then went into therapy and on medication and into job coaching with a friend so that I actually had the tools to do so! My last day was in May and, while not having a full-time job is scary still, I've never been happier about a choice since I agreed to marry Bob! My leaving work in the corporate world ended up being good timing with the organization I've been involved with as a volunteer and fundraiser for years. I did some projects with their new development director over the summer, using my skillz from my corporate job, and then have taken on various paid work since September as they experienced some staffing upheaval. It's been fantastic for me to be able to get paid (a little1) to learn about how the non-profit world works and, I will say with no modesty, that it was incredible for them to have someone like me--who knows the organization well and can be trusted to take on virtually any task--to step in. None of the jobs I've taken on are really ones that I want to do full-time on a permanent basis (too junior and/or not the best use of my talents) but that is not a problem at all. I'm not sure what's going to come next, work wise, but I'm feeling set up to do any number of things and have been making some great contacts!

Other than work, the pets are still young and healthy (knock wood) and hilarious. Friends are doing well over all. One of my closest friends just moved away on the 1st to be closer to her folks in Colorado and take on a new career leap kind of job. I'm super excited for her but I'm going to miss her being physically nearby terribly.

My folks are still relatively healthy although my dad (FINALLY!) got a diagnosis of Parkinson's Disease and started medication. The medication seems to be helping his mobility issues so I'm hoping this is a positive move. The rest of my family is doing well. My cousin's twins born super prematurely in fall 2014 are thriving and two more of my first cousins had baby boys this year. Baby bonanza!

We were able to travel quite a bit this year internationally--Tulum, UK for 2+ weeks, and we just got back from Iceland, of course--as well as to Michigan & Chicago a number of times, California, New York, and Boston. And quitting my job meant I could spend a week in NC with my nieces and nephew, who I don't get to see nearly enough, while my brother and sister-in-law went on their first vacation alone in 17 years!

I'm hoping to be more healthy and active in 2016. I may start running again and have a plan to maybe do a 1/2 marathon with my brothers in March. We'll see! I need shoes that don't kill my feet first. I also want to do yoga on a more regular basis, daily is the goal, combining home and class practices.

Mostly I want to continue to be grateful for the bounty in my life and to express gratefulness regularly to those that provide it. So, thank you!!!

This year I've learned I have deep reserves of rage. Scary pointed and vindictive.And that I don't like being that angry person. I've learned I'm oh so capable of putting grief in a box and stubbornly refusing to examine it. Even today. Reaffirmed I am Miss Contrary.

It's been..interesting.

And I've reached a limit of bullshit where I went pretty scorched earth at work. This year will bring changes, whether I like it or not, because I've set the ball rolling. There's relief in that while still wanting to burn shit down. New contract or new job(hunt-please, if it comes to that, may I not have to malinger too long.)

I've learned it's better not to disappoint me.

Your wait is almost over dear santee. The last thing I was waiting for is arriving Friday so I should get it out by Saturday. Didn't mean to be such a slacker, ah life. It is such.

My nephew is also getting his stuff out this weekend, but since his birthday is in February his parents might just hold off.

Tom Scola sent me the most wonderful secret santa box of amazing treats. I am extremely grateful because I really needed something to brighten my day.

you are the best!