This was not a great year for me. Emotions and issues don't run on a 12 month cycle though, so I am not cursing the year or celebrating the new one. I am going to try to be more present and take more ownership of my happiness, fuck the rest of the bullshit (even if that sometimes is my kid). I am going to try to be kinder, not so bitter and assholish (if you want to challenge me on that, I am not sure you have spent any time with me).

I love this place dearly. It is my only safe place at times and each one of you play a part in making it that.

I wish I could give you a hug too, msbelle.

Apparently I'm in a huggy mood.

I meant to add, even though I don't post that often anymore, I still read every day. I feel like my life is so boring that I haven't much to say. But I love coming here and knowing you people in the box are still here for me.

I...had possibly the most amazing year of my life, ever?

P-C, I love knowing you had such a great year! It seriously makes me SO happy.

I went from being Nobody to being Somebody and it is so confusing and I don't know how to deal with it.

That's got to be unsettling. In the sense of, the metaphorical ground beneath your feet isn't stable.

Also...last week I found out I'm going to be an uncle.

Hooray!!!

More hugs in 2016 is a goal, not a resolution, but a goal. I sometimes go weeks with no physical contact with another human and that sucks balls.

I would say dating might happen, but that is most certainly a lie unless one of you people set me up.

This has been a year. ita, Ginger, my grandfather. I got my first tattoo. I changed jobs and moved 2000 miles, leaving behind many friends and a city I love. I'm living alone for the first time in 15 years, and it's great. Decorating the new apartment and discovering that I have Opinions about things. Tons of travel. I went to New Orleans for Mardi Gras with Dana. I went to French Polynesia with Lee, which was awesome in the fullest sense of the word. Work trips to Ireland and India. I voted in my first San Francisco election.

There's been too much to process. It probably started earlier than ita what with my unhappiness with my previous role, but I've been saying yes to every adventure. Life is too fucking short.

Things I'm definitely doing in 2016: buying more furniture and putting up more art, buying more plants for the apartment, meditating regularly again, listening to the Hamilton soundtrack, and going for my second tattoo with Lee. I'm sure I'll leave the country a few times. I'll get to the DMV at some point for a California license.

Things I'm not prepared to deal with: ita was my birthday twin + 1 day. Was. God damn it.

I love you guys. I probably would have had so many more breakdowns this year if I didn't have this board.

Congrats P-C! It feels great to celebrate the good

Ugh, that's a gut punch, shrift, no way around it

I really don't know what to say about this year, other than it was mostly just too much.

I did have some good. Charlie, and the house, and the cats, and three amazing trips to the Faroe Islands, and Vegas, and French Polynesia, all with Buffistas, and of course Juliana's Peanut, and I made it to 5 years without sign of cancer.

Unfortunately, even as good as the good could/should have been, it was outweighed by the bad.

January 2nd, I got in my first car accident ever, and it made the news. No one was seriously hurt, and even though by September I started wishing that my car (a VW diesel) had been totaled, the damage wasn't that bad, but dealing with it took up several months.

And then ita.

This was also the year that the ataxia really kicked it up a notch, and I had to really start making allowances for it. I also think I should have starting talking to a therapist about it, but I guess that is a goal for 2016.

Also, I realized that I really kind of hate my job, but am stuck there for a while, if not until I retire.

And then Ginger.

So yeah, pretty much too much, but with occasional bright spots, just about all of which involved the people here, for which I am always going to be grateful.

I am grateful for all of you. To be honest, I haven't been able to process this year yet. Too much. Some good, some bad, some confusing. Some heartbreaking. I wasn't close to ita or Ginger, but I feel their loss. I miss them.

For those wondering about our house/mold/sick cat situation, we will be living out of a single room in Drew's office for most of January. Won't be fun, but could be much worse. The contractor claims he will be done in three weeks, so cross your fingers that's accurate. We have a follow up appointment about Wilson (sick kitty) on Tuesday and will know more then. It's not cancer, but there's apparently some chronic issues going on that the vet needs to talk with us about. Fretting about that. I also have been having pretty nasty sciatica pain for the past six weeks and am having a bad flare-up tonight (spending all day on a plane will do that), but I'm still hopeful I'll be able to run the marathon in February. I'm still training as much as I can.

The good: loving husband, family and friends. A job I love. A growing business. Wonderful furry, four-legged kids. This place. I have wonderful people in my life, including the people in this box. And I'm happy about that.

Mostly what I'm feeling right now is stressed. But this will pass. I'm cautiously optimistic about 2016. That's enough for now.

So, this last year. The bookends of losing ita and Ginger loom very large. I also lost an aunt and a dear family friend to cancer in 2015.

This was also the year I made a major career change and finally left the BBC after almost eleven years. It was a terrifying move, but it turned out to be the best thing I could have done. My job is challenging and exciting and I'm so proud of the work my team is doing. (And I can't wait until we're out of beta so I can talk openly about the thing we're building!!)

One downside to the new job is missing out on the conversations here. Now that I actually work when I'm at work, I have very limited time for the internets, and I miss being an active part of this community.

The kids are at very challenging ages right now, made worse by the fact that they're both smarter than their parents. D's class continues to be a problem within an otherwise great school (we couldn't be happier with A's pre-k class). We're still trying to move to the suburbs and buy a house, so that could be the big change in 2016 if we're successful.

2015 was the year I discovered Outlander only 20 years late (but right on time for online fandom because you can't make tumblr gifsets out of books), and Hamilton right when everyone else did. It feels great to be passionately fannish again!

Aww. I'm loving reading about all yalls years, and want to cheer all the good things, and hug you for all the hard ones.

I hesitate to try to sum up a year before it's over, lest it decide it's not done screwing with me. But I'd say all in all it was an ok year. I ran five 10ks, and 11 races in total! I managed to get a bit faster, too, so that even though I'm still super slow on the "runner" scale of things, I feel a little more confident (four years in??) calling myself a "runner". Even if I'm still not 100% comfy around "real" runners. I lost about 25 pounds (like Kat!) at the beginning of he year, and am thrilled to have kept them off (makes running much easier, and makes me feel better about clothes not fitting me as opposed to feeling my body doesn't fit clothes, even if I realize that's ridiculous). I'd still like to do more (run faster, farther, or for a whole race? Lose another 15 pounds?) but mostly that part is good.

Work started getting ridiculous this year, and I'm a little burned out. It's been better the past month or two, and should be for the next two, but I'm still anxiously awaiting my mythical promotion, and feel like they're screwing with me, at this point. that all said, it's been some of the craziest work situations of my career, but I mostly came out of it looking damn good at my job, and really owning that, which is a big plus (even if it was a bit hard to feel at the time!).

And then personal life...well, good times in Puerto Vallarta with Brenda and her sister and my BFF, seeing various buffistas during some of my trips, going to whistler and Vancouver in the summer and seeing World Cup soccer, going to multiple dance conventions, seeing family and friends and the BFF in Colorado in the fall...there were definitely some excellent times. And I made a really good new friend in August, who has been awesome and I've been spending tons of time with, which has been great. Mostly though I'd like more time to see friends and do things (see work stuff), because I feel like I'm not as able to keep up my part of friendships when I'm stressed and crazy traveling, and that sucks.

All that said, I think it was mostly a good year, and I have high hopes for 2016 (lord knows I rang it in the right way!!). Fingers crossed.