This year was weird. ita's and Ginger's deaths were the psychic/emotional equivalent of sucking chest wounds. But then I don't really need to say that, do I?

In the spring I went back on meds for anxiety and depression, which have helped, though I gained weight, either from depression eating or a side effect of the meds, or both. But I'm making progress on losing that weight, so yay.

Cincinnati got another Buffista resident when Hil moved here, which makes me so happy. Now we are 3!

I've learned a lot this year in my job, and it's been challenging as hell. My gig with one client ended, but the other client keeps expanding, so I have enough work to make up the difference. I'm not entirely sure working from home is good for me -- I think I need more human contact -- but I'm also not really ready to change things yet.

I walked two 5Ks this year (2 weeks apart, though that wasn't planned), and I plan to do more in 2016. Those finishers' medals are like a drug!

I generally don't make New Year's resolutions, because I tend to just make changes whenever I perceive the need for them, rather than a big kickstart January 1.

That said, I have actually set a goal for myself, in terms of mental work. It took buying a car to make me realize that I really do NOT believe I deserve good things. (I'll skip the thought process that got me to that realization, but it's actually, sadly true.) And I don't mean it in a Parks and Rec "Treat yoself" way (though there's nothing wrong with that, either). I even mean it in terms of my marriage. I don't think I deserve Tim. I really, really don't.

How ridiculous is it that I believe that about myself? But I do. I'm even having a SUPER hard time coming up with an affirmation to say, because "I deserve good things" sounds so presumptuous and entitled. Like, how DARE I think such a thing??? The best I've been able to do is "It's okay for me to have good things."

So my resolution, such as it is, is to get to a place where I really believe that not only is it okay for me to have good things, I deserve them. I don't believe that right now...but I do believe that outlook can change.

Wow, Teppy. I could have written something very similar. I look at my wonderful husband and my beautiful, sweet baby girl and don't think I deserve them or my nice home, etc.

It was a weird year here too. I had my amazing baby girl who is just a joy beyond words, but I spent most of the year pregnant and more depressed than I have ever been. I think it was mostly hormonal because it lifted almost immediately post-partum. Now I'm back on ADs and feeling much better.

It's hard to reflect on this year and difficult to see the happy parts too. ita's death really knocked me for a loop. Not just the reality of the loss, but a lot of unintended pushes to look at things I didn't really want to see.

But my year has been filled with so much good too. K and I got married February 6. We got a new puppy in March. Grace and Noah continue to be the axis of my world in most ways. I like my job though it is shockingly hard to do. And it's lovely to have our children at our school. I have had opportunities to spend time with friends and with family.

I also got off my ass and lost 25 lbs and began moving again. At one point, I had agonizing plantar fasciitis and I wanted to wallow in self pity for what a wreckage my body has become. But there was something about being happy that my body can and does move and knowing that I should celebrate that by treating myself better. As a result, I joined the Hogwarts Running Club and subsequently I have run/walked 17 races this year, mostly 5K distances but two were longer. I have logged a total 250 miles on Charity Miles, over 200 of them since October. It feels good to have my body working better.

For 2016, I want to keep running and I want to write more. I swear,I say that every year, but it's so damn hard to exert any discipline. I want to travel somewhere and I want to spend some time with my Dad before he gets even sicker.

This year started out in the worst possible way, and is ending very differently. I couldn't have imagined it last New Year's Eve.

So, this year started jobless, evicted, and completely broke on Jan. 2. Left Stephen and Jake up in Fulton the same day we learned ita had died, and I drove back to PA in shock and tears and a whole lot of really complicated feelings.

But since then, through the generous help of so many of the people here and a woman named Claire who took me and Sara in, I got a full-time job at a French bakery, got many parts of my life in order (partly to separate officially from my ex, partly just to get things done right), found an apartment, adopted a dog, and started dating again (for very loose values of "dating" but also generally very much fun).

I've been happier this year than I have in many years, and I think I was sort of subconsciously preparing myself for this for a long time, because once I was doing it, it was a lot easier than I expected. Now that the dust has settled, though, I think it's definitely time to see a therapist (there's a whole big scary future to contemplate), but it will be more a proactive thing than damage control, I think. Given how frightening my depression had gotten in the past few years, that feels really good.

Ben and Sara are great, happy, and more understanding about all of this than I had any right to hope for. Ben started college and he contributes to rent, and although I sort of hate making him a grownup too soon, I'm also so proud of how well he's doing. Sara is as tall as I am, and keeps borrowing my makeup and shoes, and that's weird and annoying and also cool. She's a sunny, funny kid.

Still, some days are sad. I realized yesterday would have been my 27th wedding anniversary, and it was bittersweet. Navigating the holidays really daunted me, but we actually got through it with very little drama, which was reassuring. I don't know exactly where my life is going anymore, but I finally believe that I can get to wherever that is on my own.

My one real ache is missing ita so much, and losing Ginger on top of it is awful. I don't know how well I would have made it through this year without all of you, and like Suzi I'm very grateful to be part of this community.

It has been another year for big losses, emotional and spiritual hibernation, but also incremental progress towards something better. My big lessons for the year have been in gratitude, in acceptance (of who I am and the choices I've made), and in learning to bear loss without being quite so burdened by it. That last was prompted by ita's death, which I still haven't really processed emotionally, much less Ginger's. I haven't even really faced my sister's death yet and that was over 2 years ago now. Instead I have been slowly shedding off a long term funk that set in with her passing.

But hey, better late than never, right?

After not moving my body enough for way too long, I started taking Tai Chi and really like it, and Tai Chi led to more walking and stair climbing, and I recently heard from my stretch teacher that she plans to start up classes again. I'm planning on more exercise in 2016 as it makes me feel so much better. My career has been in hibernation mode too but that's been changing as well. And on the home front we are gearing up for a big ol' remodel that will, most likely, need to be done in stages but will eventually culminate in a house that feels much more homey.

I'm not big on new year's resolutions as such as I tend to crap out on them, but I really have sort of resolved to finish a draft of the novel I've been working on, fingers crossed and the good lord willing.

That is really beautiful, Amy

Loss is hard, Burrell, and you've had more than your share. And I am always available to cheerlead writing!

I'll need it, I'm sure, so thanks in advance

I still feel weird talking about this year but maybe I will just get it over with.

My grandfather died. ita died. Ginger died. These were the nadirs of the year. I was laid off, but I don't even know if I can even count that as a bad thing because it's probably for the best.

I...had possibly the most amazing year of my life, ever?

This is the year my "writing career" went into fucking overdrive like I could not believe. It's been unreal. I made 84 submissions and 12 sales (10 originals, 2 reprints). I had 6 stories out. I wrote 86k words. I finished a book. I wrote book reviews for Lightspeed. I helped launch Mothership Zeta. I edited essays for POCDSF. People kept asking me to do things. Stories, blog posts, guest-editing issues, people...just kept coming to me, of all people.

I attended Taos Toolbox. I had a Kaffeeklatsch at Worldcon, where I had actual fans who liked my work. I wrote blog posts that were featured on io9.

I made close to $3000 from writing, editing, reviewing, and participating in cons.

I went from being Nobody to being Somebody and it is so confusing and I don't know how to deal with it.

I also wrote a short play that was read at the SF Olympians Festival, and people liked it.

I made a lot of amazing new friends, and I drank a lot of milkshakes. When I think about this year, I pretty much only think of good things, and then the crushing Impostor Syndrome caused by good things.

Also...last week I found out I'm going to be an uncle.

Congrats on the impending uncledom, P-C! Also the writing successes!