Can't resist:

who in the hell thinks about leaving a spouse who just found out they have cancer?!?!

Newt Gingrich?

I don't think I'm good enough to be in a relationship.

Well, that's just not so. It's ok for you not to be in a relationship, of course, but it will never be because you are not good enough. You are terrific. And you don't have to apologize for sharing your hard time, I'm really glad you are telling us this stuff, especially if you don't have another outlet.

You, too, Zen.

Maria, hearing about EMTguy makes me happy.

I recently listened to the This American Life on The Perils of Intimacy and it turns out I was not ready for that story about the identity theft. Unresolved stuff with the late DH is unresolved. And if I am honest, a big part of why I am not interested in seeking out a romantic relationship now is that I don't want to work on my own shit. I mean, I kind of am working on my shit as I have the energy, but (as I say too often about too many things) I can only do what I can do and sometimes that is not very much. And knowing that it is not enough, if that can be objectively set, does not make me able to do more. So.

Gud, while my own example tends to remind me that everyone does not go two-by-two through life, necessarily.(Although I would, if the stars aligned) Please don't judge your whole life by your current situation...people don't live like that, always

Newt Gingrich?

Snerk

I can only do what I can do and sometimes that is not very much.

Truthiness there! Seriously, as a distant observer I think you have done a whole lot.

You guys, trampoline is an Olympic sport, and it's on the TV right now.

You guys, trampoline is an Olympic sport, and it's on the TV right now.

I did not know trampoline was an Olympic sport. Phil Dunphy would be so happy.

And knowing that it is not enough, if that can be objectively set, does not make me able to do more. So.

But seriously, what is "enough"?

Anyway, I think arranging your life to match with your capacities makes a ton of sense. I'm pissed off at a friend's husband because he spends way too much time doing the stuff he wants to do. But I spend ALL of the time doing the stuff I want to do! The difference is that I do not have a spouse and two little kids.

Man, I knew I should have taken the 4:30 appointment and not the 5:45. But whether Friday is going to be a lazy day or a busy one is hard for me to predict a month in advance. So maybe I'm going to go shopping and/or get some frozen yogurt. At any rate, there is no good reason to stay at my desk.

But seriously, what is "enough"?

I don't know, but I think about it a lot. There are certain minimum standards/expectations, aren't there? But figuring out what is actually minimum and what is reasonable right now are both tricky propositions.

Yay for not staying at your desk! I'm expecting to stay late tonight, which sucks, but there are things that I really want to already be done when I come in on Monday and that is likely the only way that will happen. At least I sort of planned for that by driving instead of taking the bus so waiting around time should be minimized.

Oh wow, I just realized that the weirdly familiar taste in the grapes I bought Saturday is the same as the smell of Super Elastic Bubble Plastic that I used to play with as a little kid. Which was discontinued by Wham-O in the 80s because of the toxic fumes.

Maybe I won't buy another carton of them this weekend...