That is exactly what happened, Jesse. Pulled away from the gate and waited. But after all that, we're only a few minutes late.

And that part's because of the bullshit scheduling they do now to boost "on time arrivals"! I don't know why that pisses me off so much, but it does. I think it's the NYC-LA route that used to be exactly 6 hours and now they schedule it for like 6.5.

Part of it is to improve on-time arrivals and departures, but another part is completely out of their control. Flights are given departure slots by air traffic control, and if they miss them, they go all the way to the back of the line to the first available slot, which can mean hours at busy airports. So loading a plane, and then pushing back without taking off is all about making sure you don't miss your slot. All of the pre-flight checks have been performed, so the pilots can just take off when given the go-ahead. When airlines load a plane and then tell you you're going to sit on the tarmac for a delay, it's because there's an indication that the reason for the delay could disappear and the plane can take off sooner. Sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn't. And if it goes beyond three hours, well the passengers are getting federally-mandated compensation.

It's amazing how much of the ridiculous information I learned from Rob I retained, though this is certainly applicable to my current life.

I've been in a relationship for 2 years now. I wasn't looking for one, but it fell in my lap. There was a certain amount of education that took place, because he was not used to a partner that didn't need to know what was going on in his life every minute of every day nor have the need to spend every waking moment with him. We both have lives and friends outside of each other, and it's good for us to nurture those things. I get to do my gym stuff and trips to hang out with friends, and he's met a Buffista or two. Life was good before, and he just adds to it. I wasn't going to get into a relationship where I couldn't continue doing the things that make me happy. Schedule coordination is a bit crazy sometimes, but what he brings to the table is worth more to me than the aggravation. I fully realize that it's not the same for everybody.

He has been amazing in dealing with the days I miss Rob. He's never seen it as a repudiation of our relationship, and he encourages me to talk about him whenever I want. My father has called him Rob on more than one occasion and he shrugs it off. "It's only normal. Rob was a part of this family for 13 years. Besides, you're his daughter and he still calls you Lisa every once in a while."

I lucked out. There's no way I could have dealt with on-line dating, and being set up by friends was less than successful. EMTguy literally walked into my bar.

(I've been reading along and sending the silent~ma, but sometimes I get so far behind that I feel like I'm congratulating a birth on baby's first birthday.)

ION, Cindy!!! It is so good to see you around.

Well, I did leave him. I guess I did it for a reason, right?

I remained friends with my first husband until he died. We corresponded via email for the most part but would talk on the phone too. From time to time I would feel bad about leaving him, but he always managed to say or do something with enough frequency that it would remind me why it was the very best thing that I left.

Relationships are not easy. At all. If I could name one key I would have to say equality. If one person has a much stronger personality or if one is dependent I think it can't or shouldn't work out for the long term. When both parties are confident and independent, and probably when both are dependent, the balance makes it work better.

My beloved had a very strong personality, but he was also dependent on me. I honestly don't think he could have coped with daily living without me. I think I kept him focused. I'm sure he had a myriad undiagnosed cognitive issues. I often contemplated leaving him, but life without him always seemed so much bleaker than life with him, however challenging it got.

It seems like my relationship is starting to go down in flames. If that happens, I think I'm done. I don't think I'm good enough to be in a relationship.

Gud, I don't know you very well, but if even half of the stuff you say here is true, the problem in this relationship is not you.

Relationships are not easy.

I hear people say "Marriage is harrrrrrrrrrrrrrd!" and they make it sound like they're being put through a march through Death Valley -- and I don't get that.

The best analogy I can come up with is that -- this is my experience only; obviously I can't speak for any other person in any kind of a relationship -- marriage involves work for sure, but it's *satisfying* work, like putting a lot of work into a hobby you love. (I'm thinking of how much work it is to make cosplay costumes, or to have a garden that produces a good bounty, or mastering a piece of music, or or or.) No question that it's work. And it could be described as "hard," but not in the march-through-Death-Valley sense. It's satisfying work, and work worth doing.

Gud, I don't know you very well, but if even half of the stuff you say here is true, the problem in this relationship is not you.

Seriously, Gud. This.

And now I feel like a jackass for my "marriage is enjoyable work!" manifesto posted right after you saying your relationship is rocky, because I know it's the opposite of enjoyable for you. I'm so sorry to hear that.

I hear people say "Marriage is harrrrrrrrrrrrrrd!" and they make it sound like they're being put through a march through Death Valley -- and I don't get that.

Brain surgery and Olympic-level gymnastics are hard, too, but people get a lot of satisfaction out of them, anyway. Getting married seemed more like simply putting a label on an irrevocable situation, nothing really changed except legalities. I'm so sorry for the people who work so hard and don't get the return I did.

Gud, I don't know you very well, but if even half of the stuff you say here is true, the problem in this relationship is not you.

What Vortex (and Tep) said.

I don't think I'm good enough to be in a relationship.

This? Is patently false. There is no test to determine worthiness for a relationship. Relationships are not reserved for the elites who have their shit together (hint: they don't exist). Relationships are all about being with someone who adores your flavor of wacky. It's not about measuring up to another person's idea of what a partner should be.

What those wise ladies said, Gud. And I'm sure your therapist would say the same, if he or she is worth their salt. Everyone is worthy of love, everyone.

If even the vulgar talking yam has people who love him, how can you possibly believe that you are unworthy?