Yeah, his reasons for not wanting to go sound eminently sensible to me. If the in-laws want to spend family time with him on their vacation, they can visit his home or plan an outing to somewhere that won't involve taking an elderly man on an uncomfortably long drive to a place with stairs he can't climb.

We've pretty much abandoned my plan for my parents' 55th anniversary this fall because the 4-hour drive to St. Louis might be too hard on my dad. (And difficulties with navigating his wheelchair at the recent family wedding's outdoor venue will have reinforced his reluctance to go anywhere, though there would be elevators and ADA compatible rooms at the hotel I had picked out.)

JFC, apparently one of my best friends at work got fired. I mean, she no longer works here as of yesterday, so. I can imagine her shooting her mouth off in the wrong way to the wrong people, but she was really excited about our new boss coming in a few weeks. And she REALLY knows how to do her job. Fuuuuuuck.

he can't walk up and down stairs any more (and this house has 3 flights of stairs);

Yeah, that's really not okay. I can fully understand why he doesn't want to go.

The Fitbit thing I'm iffy on. If the intent/result is more bullying about exercise or calling him out if he says he's walking more than it is, then I'm with you Steph.

But it would actually be helpful with my dad to have a way to just check in and make sure that he is, in fact, moving. My sister and I have talked about putting Find my iPhone on his phone and linking it to ours. But he's got a) some heart and other health issues ongoing and b) a tendency to leave his phone where he can't hear it when we call to check in.

Also I think my dad would not much care if we did either of these anyway, which also makes a big difference. I don't get the idea Tim's dad would like it at all.

Ugh Jesse, that's a bummer

I don't know all the details, but this is not a staff that does that for no purpose. It had to do with other threats that he had made. Parents also came and we've had to deal with other DCFS type stuff. The whole thing is just so sad.

Oo, that's different. Poor kid.

Hillary is going to be so over Trump by the time this election is done.

Trump Literally Said All Those Things.

oh no, Jesse!

I'm so unmotivated to work today due to having worked until 10 yesterday. Classic work-from-home dilemma!

>he can't walk up and down stairs any more (and this house has 3 flights of stairs)

I that case, yeah, he should totes stay home and family members should make time to go see him and take him out for a nice dinner, or visit and do things around the house. I'm sure he'd appreciate having gardening done, or a new light fixture or something like that much more

BiL is super confident that FiL will be able to go up the 3 flights of stairs when we get there, and then when I asked what would happen next, his response was "...well, maybe we make it a goal that he leaves the house to do something every 2 days." This man won't even walk up 1 flight of stairs in his own house (nor should he, because he's super unsteady), but BiL thinks that he can magically go up and down 3 flights of stairs several times a week.

He's really reached the point of wishful thinking with their Dad. I know he would like his Dad to be more mobile and active, but the plain truth is that he's not. Forcing him to go to the beach is such a bad idea. Forcing him to walk up 3 flights of stairs is a horrible idea, given that he can't even walk up 1 flight at home.

I think if he gives in to the bullying and goes, he's going to be miserable and demanding, and make everyone else miserable. And I am going to stay out of it as much as humanly possible. But I'm also not going to support it by pretending I think it's a good idea, or being willing to drive him to the beach.

well, maybe we make it a goal

I tell you what, as soon as somebody else tells me what my goals are, never mind my desires/input, I do not want to do that thing. Doubt I'm the only one who feels that way.

Doubt I'm the only one who feels that way

Oh, god, the number of times I want to yell "You're not the boss of me!" in goal-setting meetings at work is very large. I have to sneak up on myself to stay on track to accomplish things I want very badly to do, because I have such a kneejerk response to To Do Lists.