I am giving the side-eye to my brother-in-law and sister-in-law kind of hard right now. (In case I haven't mentioned it, Tim's family is the nicest damn family in the world. Not saccharine and ridiculous, but just genuinely good, kind, more-or-less wholesome people. [Which is part of why I'm side-eyeing them so hard right now -- this is a bit unexpected.])

Tim's dad just turned 79, and still lives alone, though he probably shouldn't. He's in good health in the sense of no disease -- no heart disease, no cancer, no prostate issues, nothing that is common in older people. But he also gets zero exercise/activity. His doctor is constantly telling him to at least walk a couple of "laps" around the house, but he doesn't.

So Tim's brother bought their Dad a Fitbit (or similar tracker) for his birthday, and put the tracking app on his (brother's) phone so that he can see how much activity their Dad is getting. My reaction was "You lo-jacked your *Dad*???" And they're basically fine with this. I think it's kind of shitty to do that.

Ultimately, their Dad will probably toss the Fitbit on his dresser and not even wear it, so in practical terms, it's a non-issue. I just think it's shitty to lo-jack their Dad and see how much activity he's getting. (I mean, they know the answer is "virtually none.")

And same BiL and his wife (who, again, I really love) are being really pushy and weird about vacation. Tim's Dad has said he doesn't want to go on the family vacation -- he doesn't want to ride in a car for 12 hours to get there and back, and he can't handle the stairs at the beach house. He's pretty well established that he has no interest in going.

SiL said that they'll just wait until the week before vacation and then go over to his house and cheerfully TELL him that he's going and pack his bag for him if he won't do it. And I am HUGELY opposed to them treating him like an imbecile with no autonomy. He DOESN'T WANT TO GO. What the shit, people.

So I told Tim that I don't want any part of the plan to bully his Dad into going on vacation, and, to that end, we are NOT driving his Dad down to the beach in the event he caves to the bullying. (He is INTOLERABLE on that drive, to the point where it almost ruined my vacation last time.) If BiL and SiL want him to go so badly, and are willing to bully him and ignore his autonomy, they can fucking drive him. And I will tell them that if it comes to it. (I think the family assumes that Tim and I will drive his Dad everywhere because we don't have kids and therefore have room. But you know what? You have this shitty little plan to bully your father into vacation, then you figure out how you're going to get him down there. I want NO part of this.)

I'm having serious raaaaaaaage over this. I think it's really shitty.

The Fitbit thing doesn't strike me as strongly as it does you, but their plan to harass him into going vacation? Hell no.

I have this issue with my siblings often about our elderly mom. My point being that adults get to make their own decisions. Period. She may be 94, but she is of sound mind and gets to make her own choices. Grrrr on behalf of your FIL. You can try and persuade, but adults get to make their own choices. It is one of the few damn pluses of being an adult!

The Fitbit thing doesn't strike me as strongly as it does you

Well, it's shady. I'd be pissed if someone were tracking my Fitbit because they didn't think I was getting enough steps for a fat lady.

but their plan to harass him into going vacation? Hell no.

That is *most* of the source of my raaaaaaage. I'm trying to not engage, and, like I said, if their bullying works, they can drive him down and suffer the consequences.

Yeah, it's definitely shady, but I can kind of understand it from a health perspective? But that's bringing all of my own issues into it, from watching my parents deal with their aging parents.

So I have this new political strategy plan for my FB encounters. In an attempt to not completely alienate my Trumpster friends I am making an extra effort to like, comment, and encourage any post they put up that I agree with in the family, sports, or other life areas. Then slam them with FACTS to counter any of the bullshit right wing crap they post. I don't see a lot of the crazy because I have blocked so many of the crazy making sites, but when they post insanity I counter, while making a concerted effort to agree a whole bunch in between. So far so good with keeping it civil. Trying to keep debate friendly is going to be a real challenge over the many months to come.

Teppy, I also don't feel the Fitbit thing as much (partly because it has to be in range, partly because he doesn't have to wear it?) but the vacation thing...definitely put that boundary there, if he's no fun to drive when he WANTS to go, hell no you shouldn't drive him if they drag him! I can see not wanting to leave him alone or feel bad if he's left out of the fun, but then you go somewhere closer or easier to fly to or without stairs.

I'm torn between my parents being total opposites on aging. I called my dad yesterday and he was breathing heavily and wheezing just talking on the phone. Which doesn't seem any fun. But trying to diet and exercise when you're already pretty sick, at 76? I can see just wanting to watch tv and eat ice cream, like he does. But my mom is the other end--she's exercising and gone vegan and dieting, desperately trying to stave off more health woes (which I think are mostly genetic/unavoidable for her). That doesn't seem fun, but she's certainly having better quality of life than my dad in some ways, even while she's not eating dessert (which is horrid quality of life in my book!)

But my mom is the other end--she's exercising and gone vegan and dieting

My mom, to her great dismay, will be 70 in 3 weeks. She just finished a 9-month intensive training to become certified as a yoga instructor (she had to pass a written exam and then a practicum where she taught one of her teacher's classes). She pretty much laughs in the face of the concept of aging. She retired for about 2 seconds, got bored, took a part-time job coordinating women's retreats at a spiritual center, and the job crept outward into as full-time job.

What I'm saying is, I hope when I hit 70 I'm like my mom. (Shit, I could use some of that energy at 45. She's like a hummingbird on crystal meth.)

I'm pretty lucky in that I don't think I have any Trump-supporting family or even FB friends. I might have some who will vote for Trump, but not with joy in their heart.

I do have some FB friends who are very anti-Obama, but I refrain from comments when they post Obama is obviously the worst president ever stuff. I don't think the Obama era has been all ponies and roses, but at worse he'll be considered a mediocre president. My in-laws think Obama is a horrible president (they are right-wing) and so does my wife (she is left-wing), so I just stay quiet when they are complaining about him for completely opposite reasons. Pretty much the same thing for Hillary.

Trump... well, I kinda get why people might support him. They feel like they've been left behind by globalization, automation, and cultural changes and want someone who will change things. With his ever-changing policy positions, he sort of represents what people want him to represent: he'll bring back manufacturing jobs, he'll get rid of terrorists, he'll stop environmentalists from blocking economic growth, he'll keep illegal immigrants from depressing wages. It doesn't matter than he doesn't have any coherent plan for any of this, he'll be able to do it because he isn't restrained by political correctness and convention. On the other hand, c'mon the guy is a obviously a egotistical lunatic who doesn't have a clue about governance and foreign policy and doesn't seem to have a drop of intellectual curiosity.

I know the demographics don't work for him in the general, but I have a bad feeling about this election. I don't think he can pick up support from most demographic groups, but he can make the election so ugly that people will tune out and not show up in November.

You can try and persuade, but adults get to make their own choices. It is one of the few damn pluses of being an adult!

Yep. I can try to persuade my Dad to eat a goddamn vegetable once in a while, but in the end I can't force him to do anything.