Gud, I think you are under tremendous pressure to be perfect which is an unlivable standard. Your wife gets to make choices too and she bears responsibility for choosing to take the car.

Gud, you're a good person and we think you're pretty great. I thought maybe you could use a reminder right now.

I recommend getting couples counseling again. You both need to find out how to communicate. You can be really great at X things, but suck at others. And the aspergerger's thing? You both have to work with it. It's not just your issue. If she really wants to partner with you, you both need to find the language to achieve that.

If she wants to drive the old car it is on her. There is a new car available. I agree with suggestions of counseling.

I'm sure the whole Asperger's thing doesn't help either. I have a hard time reading people and I don't always catch it when she says one thing and means another.

And the aspergerger's thing? You both have to work with it. It's not just your issue. If she really wants to partner with you, you both need to find the language to achieve that.

Yes, definitely. You can't help how you process information, or the way you read people (or don't read people), and by the same token, she can't help how she processes information. It's good to know you each process information differently, but the next step is to work out ways to communicate while taking that into account. For instance, she may have to be very clear and direct if she wants you to do something (like take the old car to the mechanic), instead of assuming that you'll just guess from her actions what you should do (or should have done). And for your part, you may need to ask for clarification on things she says/does/asks you to do.

It definitely can be done, though, and it can make a relationship run so much more smoothly.

Also agree with the couples counseling. And agree that you are a great guy Gud, I wish you saw that as clearly as we do.

Steph is wise. Also, I really hope that your DW doesn't know what it does to you when you can't guess what she wants you to do. Does she? Have you spoken about it? If not, therapy or counseling could help you figure out how to tell her.

So Gud, this is my story with a lot of details left out. This Feb was a big fight for my DH and I . I planned a long weekend away - but he did not really look at the dates. and booked himself doing a favor for a friend one night. so - in the middle of this weekend he came home to do the favor. and then cam back

There were tons of reason I was angry, real reasons - and if I listed it all out-I'm pretty sure most people would get it

but in the end - I had to let it go. The root cause of this event - is the very generous nature of my DH. and that he is super stressed. It is possible something like this could happen again.

I can't change him. I can't really change me . We can communicate better. And as I say all the time - we are not one brain.

Hopefully, this is just one more bump. but you both need to figure it out