Isn't it mostly 2 hours of amazing practical effects and stunt and vehicle choreography, with Tom Hardy and Charlize Theron in the badass leading roles? That basically screams "made for ita."

All it lacks is Halle Berry being blown up in the opening scene before she can finish uttering her first word.

All it lacks is Halle Berry being blown up in the opening scene before she can finish uttering her first word.

Ha! And somebody critiquing a redhead in a black catsuit's punching technique.

I suspect ita would have enjoyed Fury Road, if just for how awesomely badass Furiosa is.

Yeah, she would have adored it.

It struck me tonight as I looked at the huge backlog on my DVR that I haven't watched an episode of SPN since ita died. I've participated in fandom, but watching the show... It's like seeing it and then not hearing her opinion about it would make it all real.

it became a lot less important for me to watch, a lot less enjoyable. I actually watched 2 eps tonight and was going to watch the finale, but the opening has me in tears, so I turned it off.

I still fall fully into denial and might be happy to just stay there because I don't much accept the truth still.

I've spent the last few days in a hospital hooked up to a morphine drip. At one point, the nurse said they were switching me to dilaudid, and it burned going in. I kept thinking about ita, and how she ever dealt with that kind of pain and medication, all alone, for so long.

Been dealing with horrible guilt about her death for a long time now. The surgeon called me a warrior. I didn't have much in the way of tears left, but I really needed to tell ita about that, and there was nowhere for it to go.

Before she passed, she was coming to stay with us. She should be sitting in the garden reading a book, making me feel like a wuss about gallbladder surgery and the tiny amount of opiates that make me feel like an overcooked noodle.

Oh, Allyson. Yes.

ita knows that you're a warrior, Allyson.

Una's right. No one had to tell ita that you're a warrior. I think about her during my endless medical procedures, but wish that I had never had to associate ita with pain.

Oh, Allyson, gallbladder pain is awful, I'm so sorry. ita would, I'm sure, agree that you are in no way a wuss for feeling the pain.

Nor would she think you have any reason to feel guilt: you did a great deal for ita, and made a huge difference in her life. But she was also very independent, and would not have wanted you to think you bore all the responsibility for her.

Please be kind to yourself.