Respect for those who don't wish to discuss the matter. Not everyone enjoys diving into science details like they were a medical student; too much hard cold truth is not a cup of tea to everybody's liking. And it is certainly not my place to make demands. I just want to know if breaking news hits the Apocalypse thread.

The package came. Thank you, Lee, for choosing something of ita's for me that she and I shared. It feels appropriate and special. And thank you too, Burrell, for making sure it got here.

Crying now.

I'm so glad you like it, Bev

Thanks for sending it, Burrell. I know it probably would have been okay with TSA, but I didn't want to risk it.

I was Buff Diving to while away the afternoon, as one does, and came across a number of classic ita quotes. I have to share at least one:

ita: I've been asked (about my hair) "But what would I hold onto in bed?"

"Your dick, asshole. It's not like I'm going to be there with you."

Aw, yeah. That's an excellent one.

I had a couple of missing ita flashes yesterday night and today.

Last night, we went to a bar because friends of ours are leaving for a 3 week assignment in Lithuania. I was flirting with this hot gay guy, and he was impressed when I corectly ID's his military tats. He said something innocently flirty to me and I was all "Back off, man, I can kill you with my delicate lady hands!" (He was really sweet, and adorable.)

He was all "Well, I kind doubt it; after my military service was done, I'm a Corrections Officer at Leavenworth."

I smiled sweetly, and gently chopped him in the trachea while pretending to go for the groin. He was all like "Wow, that's a move I hate, because it's one of the most efficient moves you can make!"

And then I held him (gently) by the ear and mimed whacking the flat of my hand up and into his nose, and he was stunned. He was all "RIGHT ON! Those are exactly the moves guys like me hate -- they can kill you."

I said, "I know. A friend told me to feint for the groin and go for the trach, and/or the nose slam."

ita, I hope your energy felt a happy spark. I was glad, and sad at that same moment.

And I haven't been able to watch SPN since ita died, and I finally watched an ep tonight. It was painful, but good.

Yesterday, I made a new video to introduce Cagney and me to potential landlords, house sitting needers. Whenever I do video, I do full make-up and, for the first time, I used the Black Honey lippy I bought in honor of ita.

I tried to channel her confidence.

It was bittersweet.

I have dug out my Black Honey lippie, and I feel a sweet sad sentimentality whenever I slick it on.

I feel you, bonny.

Matilda has been watching Community lately which means she sings, "Troy and Abed In the Morning!" a lot.

Which makes me think of ita.