I told one of my co-workers about ita and the whole concept of the board and she pretty much understood it completely. She's Chinese and there's a chat room kind of thing (not just texting) that the Chinese kids (and adults) use on their phones and as soon as I told her about the Buffistas her face lit up and she mentioned that. She was very sympathetic to the loss of an online friend. My dad kind of understands; whenever I go to a F2F he immediately asks, "Is that with your Buffy friends?" It's just another option to the way you made friends in the 30s and 40s: clubs, school, military, hobbies were where you made friends, now with added internet.

'I Lived' by One Republic pops on the radio every time I'm in the car and a couple of lines bring tears to my eyes. I mean, I think of ita through the entire song but...

The only way you can know, You give it all you have

Because she did. And so I begin to smile, just a little. Until..

And I hope that you don't suffer, But take the pain

Because on the one hand, when she was closer to 100% and kicking ass at krav, she took the pain. On the other, she did suffer. Too much.

On a much lighter note, I had a strange and wonderful dream regarding ita early this morning. Not sure how much time had passed but we'd crafted a note and slid it under the door of her apartment. Someone else was living there and we watched them read the letter through a window (except when we were all watching it unfold on a theatre screen because dreams are like that). Basically the note said that if they had experienced new interests since moving in there (like suddenly needing to take krav classes, be an action figure, collect all the hotness on the internet and create a website dedicated to displaying all of it), that they should come visit us here on b.org. We would be happy to fill them in on the previous tenant of their home and explain how some of her might still resonate there.

It was bittersweet and felt real enough that I was a little surprised to wake up in my bed rather than sitting in a movie theatre with all of you.

There was a nanosecond where I caught Moji out of the corner of my eye, and my brain processed her as ita. I can't describe how that felt. I'm not a hugger, but the hug from her father meant everything.

Hec or pc, would you let the i09 people know I set aside a couple of small items for them?

Off to get more boxes and tape.

Nicole, that is an awesome dream.

Hec or pc, would you let the i09 people know I set aside a couple of small items for them?

I will. That's sweet. Annalee and Charlie live in my neighborhood, so I could give it to them and they could share it at their next meetup.

Oh Bob Marley on my radio already twice today. I am not sure.

Hec or pc, would you let the i09 people know I set aside a couple of small items for them?

I will. That's sweet. Annalee and Charlie live in my neighborhood, so I could give it to them and they could share it at their next meetup.

Oh, that's very thoughtful of you both. Thanks.

I'll make a post on Observation Deck on Monday when they will have more traffic.

I'll mention the John Moore tribute and the scholarship fund too.

Thank you for the link to the former improv guy. I'm sitting here in tears. So many people not just knew ita but got ita, or at least their fragment of her.

And I'm maudlin and shit.

There's a lot of that going around.

It's a comfort to know that things are being taken care of by loving people. Having been through the process I just, well I am holding you all in my heart.