SO for those of you not on Facebook, here's my...adventure...for the day:

I just got back from my walk, and DID finally walk 5K today, so I was hot, sweaty and just wanted lots of cold water and to take my shoes off.

I get to the door, and my house key, which has been AWFUL the entire 5 years I have lived here WILL. NOT. OPEN. THE. FUCKING. DOOR.

Friends, I am not stupid or helpless; I worked on getting that doorknob to open for 20 sweaty, hot, frustration-edging-into-rage state. DID I MENTION I'D JUST WALKED 3.3 MILES? FOR THE FIRST TIME? AND ALL I WANTED WAS WATER AND TO SIT DOWN?!

No joy.

I go next door, because when I first moved in with Dan, I got locked out getting the mail and borrowed my next door neighbor's ladder. (They weren't home, I didn't have my phone, it was cold.) I got up on the roof to a bedroom window I KNEW happened to be unlocked and opened it, shimmied into the house. No big. No problems with the window.

The neighbor's son was home this time, and helped me get a ladder, and I got up, but the goddamned window wouldn't open. It wasn't locked; it'd just swelled or something. So I had to ask the guy if he had a lever or a sturdy flat-head screwdriver; he did, and kindly got up on the roof with me, and we got the window open, and I shimmied in.

Then I retrieved all my stuff from my walk, and helped the neighbor guy put the ladder back, asked him if I could but him a six-pack or make some cookies or something, but he graciously declined.

So I'm finally in, and still sweaty and gross and thirsty as hell, which I took care of. This is maybe 40 minutes after I got back to the house from my walk.

And then I called my darling husband at work and rather tersely and firmly told him that he would be getting a new key made for me TONIGHT, from HIS key, which works JUST FINE, come hell or high water. And the hell in that phrase would be me.

But I am in front of a fan now, and drinking an icy glass of water, and I am going chill now for a bit.

Namaste, bitches.

Teppy, are you still following Nimona? Today's comic was great (but you really need to be caught up on on the comic to appreciate it).

OH MY GOD. I was going to post here, but I couldn't remember who reads it. I admit it, when I saw the shark, I squeed like Bobby Hill.

Although I have some trepidation, given that there's still one more strip left.

Jesse! You should add the video of the dog playing in the fountain that Lori posted on facebook to Good stuff.

Actually, I should submit it, but that would be more work for me.

I admit it, when I saw the shark, I squeed like Bobby Hill.

I almost did that too.

I will see what I can do! If I can make it through today without GODDAMNED KILLING SOMEONE.

If I can make it through today without GODDAMNED KILLING SOMEONE.

That would probably be best, if not as satisfying

I, too, am in a place where I would take pleasure in other people's pain. I'm nearly in a brain space where I would make kids lose hold of their balloons so I could watch them cry as it floats away.

If I can make it through today without GODDAMNED KILLING SOMEONE.

Totally right there with you! No choking people out or threatening to cut them today! I know I'm supposed to be avoiding baked goods, but I am eating a mini-cupcake and listening to a David Bowie channel on Pandora because the alternative is MURDER.

I am eating a mini-cupcake and listening to a David Bowie channel on Pandora because the alternative is MURDER.

"Cake or death. Your death. Yeah, that's right, hand over the cake."

Timelies all!

The soles of the shoes I wore to services today cracked and bits fell off. I've never seen shoes do that before. Granted, these shoes were at least 10 years old, but I only wore them a couple of times a year.