These are always fun:
The 2014 winner has been crowned in the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, in which writers compete to construct the worst opening line for a novel.
2014 Contest Winners » The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
The runner-up for crime fiction might be my favorite:
Hard-boiled private eye Smith Calloway had a sinking feeling as he walked into the chaotic crime scene, for there, as expected, was the body dressed in a monk's habit; there was the stuffed cream-colored pony next to the crisp apple strudel; there was the doorbell, the set of sleigh bells, and even the schnitzel with noodles - all proclaiming that the Von Trappist Killer had struck again.
all proclaiming that the Von Trappist Killer had struck again.
Now there's a killer with real dedication to his theme.
No steaming up the company cubicles.
I think this one's my favorite.
Hah--Jesse, that reminds me of a friend of mine also named Jesse, who apparently confounded some coworkers when marrying his partner Jamie--she's a girl, but they were apparently unsure, with the gender neutral names, whether he was gay or not. I guess this had already been confusion and then the wedding (after gay marriage was allowed) didn't help, he got some weirdly phrased congrats, he said!
Yay, Aimée! Yay good news!!
YAYAY AIMEE!!!!
Hah--Jesse, that reminds me of a friend of mine also named Jesse, who apparently confounded some coworkers when marrying his partner Jamie--she's a girl, but they were apparently unsure, with the gender neutral names, whether he was gay or not.
That is hilarious. I just interviewed a man named Jamie, but maybe I should try to marry him instead??
OMG. I have a recurring transfer to pay a credit card that I'm no longer using, but it apparently doesn't exist so I can't cancel it!! Last month, I ended up getting a refund check in the mail because my credit card balance was negative. So, this money was (a) in my Citi checking account, (b) got transferred to my Citi credit card account, (c) was put on a paper check and mailed to me, at which point I (d) deposited the check into my Citi checking account.
So annoying! I mean, I guess I can just use the card, but that is not what I want! I'm going to set a reminder for myself to look next month closer to the date.
WOO AIMS! Congrats!!!
That is hilarious. I just interviewed a man named Jamie, but maybe I should try to marry him instead??
"Follow up question from the interview - would you like to get married? Because it would be funny."
