The thing is, it could have been one of two things. Either it was from the time we were supposed to have a fake penis come out of someones pants OR it was when we were doing a show with breeches, and I had to talk to someone about penis placement.

At the theatre, I once came across an old note that just said "PENIS!!!!"

For a student theatre show that I stage managed once, the theatre wasn't set up for the tech people to use headsets, and no one noticed this until a couple days before the performance (all the other theatres on campus had been specially wired for new headsets, so they got rid of all the old ones that didn't require special wiring, and no one really thought about this smaller theatre space.) This was also a really terribly designed space in which the "wings" on one side of the stage were just an alcove, not connected to anything backstage -- the only way to get there was either from the stage or from the audience. (Blocking that was fun -- if a character exited on one side of the stage, then their next entrance had to be from that same side.) But, anyway, the method I came up with for communicating was to leave a bunch of notebooks and Sharpies and flashlights on each side of the wings, and people would write things and shine the flashlight on them to tell people on the other side of the wings. I found those notebooks a while ago, and had no idea what almost any of the messages meant. (The only one I could actually remember was "TAKE APPLES AT EXIT," because I'd noticed in the middle of the first performance that there was a bowl of apples on the table in one scene, and the next scene was supposed to be a few weeks later, so that same bowl of apples shouldn't still be there. Then the actress looked panicked at being given something new to do in the middle of the performance, so the next page is, "IF YOU CAN.")

Either it was from the time we were supposed to have a fake penis come out of someones pants OR it was when we were doing a show with breeches, and I had to talk to someone about penis placement.

Amazing!

Do I have a secret life, secret even from me? Am I Tyler Durden?

We're not supposed to talk about that.

The thing is, it could have been one of two things. Either it was from the time we were supposed to have a fake penis come out of someones pants OR it was when we were doing a show with breeches, and I had to talk to someone about penis placement.

Tucking is what immediately came to mind.

I said TUCKING, with a T.

I once found a note I'd left myself with someone's first name and a number. The number was disconnected and I had no idea who that person was. I may be a sleeper agent.

At the theatre, I once came across an old note that just said "PENIS!!!!"

You win. Random PENIS always wins.

Someone once wrote PENIS on the dirt on the back window of my car. I hadn't parked badly or anything--the only thing I could think of was someone was complaining because I drove a big old Mercury.

I tend to put rehearsal quotes on the back or in the margins of my notes. Those can be cryptic and/or hilarious when I no longer remember the context.

So, to get to my plane in two weeks, I can either wake up my housemate early to have him drive me to the train, where I have to figure which trains and transfers will get me to the plane on time, or I pay $34 for the shuttle that will pick me up at the house and drop me off at the terminal. My inner cheapskate is balking at the price, but my inner fretter is pointing out all the connections and having to depend on others to get me where I need to be.

Yeah, I think I just convinced myself to take the shuttle.

Who in the Bay area is going to test this and report back?

The Sushirrito Is A Combination of the World's Best Foods

Sushi is fantastic, but it's awfully hard to eat on the go. On the other hand burritos are marvelous, but they can feel a little heavy. So why not combine the portability of a classic burrito with the fresh offerings of a tasty sushi roll.

Right now Sushirrito is only open in the Bay Area, but I for one can't wait until they are everywhere!