Do I have a secret life, secret even from me? Am I Tyler Durden?

We're not supposed to talk about that.

The thing is, it could have been one of two things. Either it was from the time we were supposed to have a fake penis come out of someones pants OR it was when we were doing a show with breeches, and I had to talk to someone about penis placement.

Tucking is what immediately came to mind.

I said TUCKING, with a T.

I once found a note I'd left myself with someone's first name and a number. The number was disconnected and I had no idea who that person was. I may be a sleeper agent.

At the theatre, I once came across an old note that just said "PENIS!!!!"

You win. Random PENIS always wins.

Someone once wrote PENIS on the dirt on the back window of my car. I hadn't parked badly or anything--the only thing I could think of was someone was complaining because I drove a big old Mercury.

I tend to put rehearsal quotes on the back or in the margins of my notes. Those can be cryptic and/or hilarious when I no longer remember the context.

So, to get to my plane in two weeks, I can either wake up my housemate early to have him drive me to the train, where I have to figure which trains and transfers will get me to the plane on time, or I pay $34 for the shuttle that will pick me up at the house and drop me off at the terminal. My inner cheapskate is balking at the price, but my inner fretter is pointing out all the connections and having to depend on others to get me where I need to be.

Yeah, I think I just convinced myself to take the shuttle.

Who in the Bay area is going to test this and report back?

The Sushirrito Is A Combination of the World's Best Foods

Sushi is fantastic, but it's awfully hard to eat on the go. On the other hand burritos are marvelous, but they can feel a little heavy. So why not combine the portability of a classic burrito with the fresh offerings of a tasty sushi roll.

Right now Sushirrito is only open in the Bay Area, but I for one can't wait until they are everywhere!

Someone once wrote PENIS on the dirt on the back window of my car. I hadn't parked badly or anything--the only thing I could think of was someone was complaining because I drove a big old Mercury.

My guess would be middle school kids.

"last day for sushi" in my paper desk calendar in April?

I actually know this one! That was the sushi place in Napa that you/we bought a living social deal for, and it expired in April.

I am supposed to be doing two things right now. The first one requires a partner in the DC office to call me back, but he is working at home today, so I think he might be sick, and in any case, he is not calling me back. The second one involves me learning something new that I really need to learn, but I don't wanna.

In other words, FCM: Thomas Gibson, Joe Mantegna, Matthew Gray Gubler

(I will just be over in the corner with Shemar Moore)

I can either wake up my housemate early to have him drive me to the train, where I have to figure which trains and transfers will get me to the plane on time, or I pay $34 for the shuttle that will pick me up at the house and drop me off at the terminal.

Is it too far to have your housemate drive you all the way to the airport?