What a horrible reason to come back to the board after too long away, but I am so grateful to see all your pixels. I am so very sad to lose ita. It feels like some innocence I had left has been lost.
This is a silly but true thing--I've been deep into the Hobbit, the films, the books, the fandom, and was gearing up to rewatch LOTR, and far before this news came to me, I've only ever associated LOTR as a whole with ita. When we bought her Legolas' knives, and gave them to her, and saw the joy on her face. It was our gesture of love, friendship, and admiration, all those years ago, and it remains one of my fondest memories.
I am so grateful for you all.
Yes, thank you Allyson. Thank you.
god damn.
Oh, Paula, Kristen, and Allyson. Much love to you all. I'm sorry. Allyson, thank you so much for posting. I appreciate it so much. Also, Maria, thanks for sharing her words with us.
I've been ugly crying all day, and transposed my sorrow and rage on to a work related slight. Fantastic. Every time I talk to someone I start crying, with the exception of the Popeye's drive thru window. Ellen called me and I started breaking down.
I just talked to her. She's at work and won't be able to get on the board until this evening. She's holding on.
I saw the photo of ita on FB about 20 minutes ago and immediately brightened. My thought was, 'Yay! ita if feeling better!'
When I came here and saw that I'd missed 300+ messages, my heart realized the truth before my brain could process it.
No.no.no.no. It can't be.
It is infathomable.
How do I feel so broken over someone I never had the opportunity to meet in person? Fuck you to anyone who says you can't make true connections with someone you know only online.
This. So completely this.
ita was challenging and kind and creative and inspiring and so much more than can be explained to anyone who has not lived here.
As my own tears flow, I honor and embrace the pain in every one of your hearts.
I'm with Nilly in choosing to believe that ita is in a state of being where there is no more pain.
I bless her strength and her incredible contributions to the lives of a shockingly vast number of people on this earth.
Those who had the honor of her corporeal presence, those who benefited from her technical wizardry, those who were inspired by her physical prowess, those who were entertained by her art and genuine passion for the beauty in life and those who were touched by the kindness of her heart.
We are all richer for her existence.
Thank you Allyson and Polgara and Kristen and Burrell.
I couldn't figure out how to not go to work this morning, so I went in, and I knew I couldn't work if I came here at all, so I did not. And a couple of people asked how I was doing and I told them the truth so now I am home where I can be with all of you as I should be right now. And I have caught up on this thread since last I posted and I love you all so much.
Thank you, Allyson, for posting what happened, I know that must have been hard both to live and to write.
