oh, no. oh, ita. amazing ita is gone. I can't stop crying for her, and for all of us without her.

When I saw Hec's notice, my heart dropped. I always knew one day I'd come to the board and find one of us was gone, but I didn't think it would happen so soon, and I never thought it would be her.

I slept late today, so I just heard. And I really have no words, just tears. And I lit a candle for my beautiful friend.

I can't stop crying. And random thought, has anyone told Colin Ferg?

I want to go and punch every medical professional who didn't believe her or held her in the face. This bring back bad memories of finding my friend Cori dead in her apt of insulin shock. I was the last person to see her alive and offered to get her insulin, but her parents were coming down in two days with insulin. A Two days later, we broke down her door. Useless.

I can't parse this.

Oh, no.

When I saw Hec's notice, my heart dropped. I always knew one day I'd come to the board and find one of us was gone, but I didn't think it would happen so soon, and I never thought it would be her.

Zen, yes. Exacctly.

I'm trying to track down old e-mail addresses of Buffistas who don't - or only rarely - post here anymore. I'm sure they'd want to know, right?

I wish there were any way I could help the LAistas. I wish there were any way I could do anything, anything at all, to ease some of this.

I can't believe this wonderful person, my wonderful friend, is gone.

[Edit: for somebody I've met only briefly, a decade ago, she was so amazing, that she was still able to play a big role in my life. She was in my prayers every single day. ]

For those that were close to her..I'm so sorry. I have tears streaming down my face.

It is hard to say more...

Has anyone told Betsy, or does she need to be let know?

I've just emailed my daughter. Basketball Allstar weekend is coming up, and I'm remembering Joanna convincing ita to come down from Detroit a few years back. N-Sync (I think it was them) were at the party and ita ended up pushing one of them up against the wall and French-kissing the stuffing right out of his spine.

Dear death, fuck right on along now. And what JZ said about doctors who hinder and disbelieve.

Nilly, you're doing it. By grieving and talking and offering help. But I get it, the grief, the anger, the tears, the helpless feeling.

deb, do you have an e-mail address for Betsy? She was the first person on my list of people I'm tryin g to track down.