When I saw Hec's notice, my heart dropped. I always knew one day I'd come to the board and find one of us was gone, but I didn't think it would happen so soon, and I never thought it would be her.

Zen, yes. Exacctly.

I'm trying to track down old e-mail addresses of Buffistas who don't - or only rarely - post here anymore. I'm sure they'd want to know, right?

I wish there were any way I could help the LAistas. I wish there were any way I could do anything, anything at all, to ease some of this.

I can't believe this wonderful person, my wonderful friend, is gone.

[Edit: for somebody I've met only briefly, a decade ago, she was so amazing, that she was still able to play a big role in my life. She was in my prayers every single day. ]

For those that were close to her..I'm so sorry. I have tears streaming down my face.

It is hard to say more...

Has anyone told Betsy, or does she need to be let know?

I've just emailed my daughter. Basketball Allstar weekend is coming up, and I'm remembering Joanna convincing ita to come down from Detroit a few years back. N-Sync (I think it was them) were at the party and ita ended up pushing one of them up against the wall and French-kissing the stuffing right out of his spine.

Dear death, fuck right on along now. And what JZ said about doctors who hinder and disbelieve.

Nilly, you're doing it. By grieving and talking and offering help. But I get it, the grief, the anger, the tears, the helpless feeling.

deb, do you have an e-mail address for Betsy? She was the first person on my list of people I'm tryin g to track down.

I'm trying to track down old e-mail addresses of Buffistas who don't - or only rarely - post here anymore. I'm sure they'd want to know, right?

I have uh...not "reached out" but emailed and messaged some people: Rebecca Lizard, (asked her to tell John H.), Angus, Cindy, Rio. Sent a message to Analee at I09, but if other people have a more direct line should let her know.

Is there somebody who has contact with her Krav people?

Weirdly I thought, "Who's going to tell Jeff Mejia?" And I realized I was sad for us in the aggregate. For our community.

Betsy's on Dreamwidth, if nothing else.

Oh, no.

I can't think of anything to say that hasn't already been said by others and better. She will be sorely missed. My thoughts go out to her friends and family.

I'm trying my best not to cry at work. I'm thankful for having gotten to know her over the years through this board if never in person and trying to take comfort in that she is now free of the pain that plagued her for so long.

I emailed Betsy just now.