Mal: Gotta say, doctor, your talent for alienatin' folk is near miraculous. Simon: Yes, I'm very proud.

'Safe'


Natter 73: Chuck Norris only wishes he could Natter  

Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, butt kicking, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.


Strix - Dec 17, 2014 4:43:47 pm PST #12890 of 30000
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger

Dana, that's fantastic!

I say yes on Tim and the infinity scarf. They're warm, and look good when you drape them right. I have two, and love them.


Jesse - Dec 17, 2014 4:53:27 pm PST #12891 of 30000
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.

Oh ugh, Suzi -- good luck getting home!

Non-scarf question: is my old grey sweatshirt with ice-skating penguins painted on it that the paint has partially peeled off of appropriate for an Ugly Sweater Contest?

I vote yes.


-t - Dec 17, 2014 5:09:24 pm PST #12892 of 30000
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration

Good enough for me! I'm already on record as Not Getting the Ugly Sweater Thing so I think I can count on some leeway.


SuziQ - Dec 17, 2014 5:12:28 pm PST #12893 of 30000
Back tattoos of the mother is that you are absolutely right - Ame

Thanks y'all. Two more hours to kill. Already drank my whiskey and ate my salad really slowly. If I have another drink I WILL fall asleep.

Normally travel doesn't bother me much. I should have kept the rental and driven back to Colorado (I'm ignoring how much extra that would cost). Might take 8 hours, but that car would keep me awake. Vroom.


Atropa - Dec 17, 2014 5:13:12 pm PST #12894 of 30000
The artist formerly associated with cupcakes.

You gotta come out for an Event they do or something.

That would be SO much fun. I wonder if I could convince them to bring me out as a guest.


aurelia - Dec 17, 2014 5:13:21 pm PST #12895 of 30000
All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story. Tell me a story.

And then there's the Lennie Kravitz scarf... [link]


§ ita § - Dec 17, 2014 6:07:29 pm PST #12896 of 30000
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

You're gonna have to submit a lot of shit to convince me Kravitz isn't a stone hottie.

I was just reading a fic that made me google Florida same sex marriage, and I read that the ban just got struck down today! And then the judge divorced a gay couple....

[link]


aurelia - Dec 17, 2014 6:15:46 pm PST #12897 of 30000
All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story. Tell me a story.

You're gonna have to submit a lot of shit to convince me Kravitz isn't a stone hottie.

I would never attempt such a thing.


§ ita § - Dec 17, 2014 6:19:43 pm PST #12898 of 30000
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

We remain friends and comrades.


Ginger - Dec 17, 2014 6:19:47 pm PST #12899 of 30000
"It didn't taste good. It tasted soooo horrible. It tasted like....a vodka martini." - Matilda

Here are the highlights of a thread on a local things for sale Facebook group. It's a closed group, so I can't link to it.

Elf Mom: Need an elf on the shelf ASAP!!!! Ours caught on fire this morning and I need a replacement before school gets out!!! Help!!!

Commenter: Spontaneous combustion?

Commenter: Did he get in your stash

Commenter: Freebasing?

Commenter: Pretty sure those things are possessed. Consider yourself lucky.

Commenter: Fry chucky, FRY!!

Commenter: Why has nobody on this thread inquired about exactly HOW the elf was set ablaze?!?

Elf Mom: And for those wondering HOW, he slipped off the top of the light fixture and got wedged next to a light bulb. Thankfully the small one was out the door and when I went to turn off the light I saw smoke and a leg dangling. Went back after school drop off and he is melted to the light bulb and my house stinks! Just glad little one didn't see it because she "lives" to see him every day.

This is the official obituary:
Waddle Lindsey, 2008-2014
Waddle the Elf brought many years of joy and laughter to our family and friends, but on Tuesday, December 16 he suffered fatal injuries caused by sitting on a light bulb. He left behind many memories of his shenanigans, and a terrible burn smell in the dining room. He will be terribly missed. RIP Waddle #1, as I'm off to Target to find your twin so that he can once again bathe in a bowl of marshmallows. I also need to replace the light bulb that caused this horrible death, because your butt is melted to it.

Commenter: I think you may need to move. Nothing's going to get rid of the lingering scent of third-degree charred elf.

Commenter: Since he's one of Santa's elves I think a true viking funeral is in order. Build his floating pyre and send his warrior soul on to Valhalla where he can drink mead and play tricks on the Valkyries. Waddle died in the line of duty, so only a warriors funeral would suffice.

Elf Mom: Ok, so my Elf on the Shelf crisis has been resolved without the small person even noticing! Thank you for all the...uh...suggestions...you made my day so much brighter and more fun! Happy Holidays to all!