Thanks y'all. Two more hours to kill. Already drank my whiskey and ate my salad really slowly. If I have another drink I WILL fall asleep.

Normally travel doesn't bother me much. I should have kept the rental and driven back to Colorado (I'm ignoring how much extra that would cost). Might take 8 hours, but that car would keep me awake. Vroom.

You gotta come out for an Event they do or something.

That would be SO much fun. I wonder if I could convince them to bring me out as a guest.

And then there's the Lennie Kravitz scarf... [link]

You're gonna have to submit a lot of shit to convince me Kravitz isn't a stone hottie.

I was just reading a fic that made me google Florida same sex marriage, and I read that the ban just got struck down today! And then the judge divorced a gay couple....

[link]

You're gonna have to submit a lot of shit to convince me Kravitz isn't a stone hottie.

I would never attempt such a thing.

We remain friends and comrades.

Here are the highlights of a thread on a local things for sale Facebook group. It's a closed group, so I can't link to it.

Elf Mom: Need an elf on the shelf ASAP!!!! Ours caught on fire this morning and I need a replacement before school gets out!!! Help!!!

Commenter: Spontaneous combustion?

Commenter: Did he get in your stash

Commenter: Freebasing?

Commenter: Pretty sure those things are possessed. Consider yourself lucky.

Commenter: Fry chucky, FRY!!

Commenter: Why has nobody on this thread inquired about exactly HOW the elf was set ablaze?!?

Elf Mom: And for those wondering HOW, he slipped off the top of the light fixture and got wedged next to a light bulb. Thankfully the small one was out the door and when I went to turn off the light I saw smoke and a leg dangling. Went back after school drop off and he is melted to the light bulb and my house stinks! Just glad little one didn't see it because she "lives" to see him every day.

This is the official obituary:
Waddle Lindsey, 2008-2014
Waddle the Elf brought many years of joy and laughter to our family and friends, but on Tuesday, December 16 he suffered fatal injuries caused by sitting on a light bulb. He left behind many memories of his shenanigans, and a terrible burn smell in the dining room. He will be terribly missed. RIP Waddle #1, as I'm off to Target to find your twin so that he can once again bathe in a bowl of marshmallows. I also need to replace the light bulb that caused this horrible death, because your butt is melted to it.

Commenter: I think you may need to move. Nothing's going to get rid of the lingering scent of third-degree charred elf.

Commenter: Since he's one of Santa's elves I think a true viking funeral is in order. Build his floating pyre and send his warrior soul on to Valhalla where he can drink mead and play tricks on the Valkyries. Waddle died in the line of duty, so only a warriors funeral would suffice.

Elf Mom: Ok, so my Elf on the Shelf crisis has been resolved without the small person even noticing! Thank you for all the...uh...suggestions...you made my day so much brighter and more fun! Happy Holidays to all!

That's kind of amazing, Ginger. Awesome.

AHAHAH! Needed that. Suddenly not convinced my hsa fax went. The canon multi functions were misbehaving so I had to go old school.

Who the fuck faxes anymore?

I don't know what kind of algorithm they've got going at Hulu, but it works. The sent me an ad with Sleepy Hollow, Twin Peaks, and Buffy.