Suela, I'm glad you're feeling better and you have some idea of what's going on and how to fix it. Hoping you make a full recovery soon!
That is the challenge of parenting, I suspect. I always think of those CS&N lines, "So feed them on your dreams/The ones they pick/The ones you know by."
That reminds me of the Sweet Honey in the Rock song that goes through my head periodically: "Your children / are not your children / they are the sons and the daughters of life / longing for itself / they come through you / but they are not from you / and though they are with you / they belong not to you."
That is highly encouraging, Suela! I learned I'm a head-nodder when I went back to work with the vertigo, and could barely make it through a meeting. Sitting at my desk alone was OK, though!
Thinking about lives and expectations and families is making me surprisingly emotional right now. It's like, I feel fine with my own day-to-day, but I feel bad that I don't have a kid for my dad to play with.
MOVING ON.
It's always hard to feel like you're not living up to expectations, but like the lyrics Kate quoted say, it's not really our job as parents to expect anything from our kids. We have them, and we're supposed to raise them to be capable, self-reliant adults who can make their own choices, whatever they are.
I feel like I get both sides of this, though, and that it's always easier said than done, especially when it comes to my oldest. And no matter what, I still feel like I let down my parents.
LIFE. Is hard.
Also, ::primal scream of OMGWTF my job I hate you::
I love that song too, Kate.
Thinking about lives and expectations and families is making me surprisingly emotional right now.
me too
I am super grateful that I don't get any of that from my parents.
Also I think I may be having a mid-life crisis.
Also I think I may be having a mid-life crisis.
Oh god yes. It's not quite existential, yet.
I am definitely aware of my mid-life status, increasing daily. I wouldn't describe my current level as "crisis" and, like Jesse, I am day by day very happy. But. It isn't at all the life I imagined at a younger age. But you know? I am probably happier and saner than I had any right to ever expect, and I am grateful every day for this. I am not exaggerating.
And on a personal note, just being able to be a person who can gamble or drink whenever I want to and not have it take over my life? I don't know how I escaped those illnesses, but I did. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop in terms of illnesses that have run in my family for generations, but so far so good. So, yeah. Not necessarily the life I visualized, but not so shabby anyway.
MsBelle, I hope your brother and his beloved have a beautiful wedding and a lifetime of happiness.
ION, how is my coworker such a fucking idiot? He has been in this field for years! No, we can not just ignore that question! Answer the fucking question (Claire!). (NO! I NEVER DID IT!)
Edit: Everyone has seen The Breakfast Club as many times as I have, right??
Answer the fucking question (Claire!). (NO! I NEVER DID IT!)
brb dying of stifled laughter
