An open bar before the ceremony at a wedding would be a recipe for hilarious disaster, at least among my family. Though really, if you want to attend sloshed, nothing's stopping you from downing a couple cold ones before you leave for the wedding. One of my cousins had a BYOB wedding.

Wow, it has honestly never occurred to me to imagine an open bar before the ceremony at a wedding. I mean, even leaving aside those weddings that start in a church... nope, never occurred to me.

Me, neither, but...

The last wedding I went to had an open bar before the ceremony, but the ceremony and reception were held in a super-swanky restaurant. (So the bartenders were on duty the whole time, and the holding area before people went in to find their seats WAS the bar.)

Apparently my mom and stepdad have gone to weddings like this, where the open bar started before the ceremony. So it's not unheard-of.

An open bar before the ceremony at a wedding would be a recipe for hilarious disaster, at least among my family.

MINE TOO! And this is why I can't believe my mom even brought it up.

Although she is SO HYPED on us drinking champagne while I get ready. Have I mentioned my family is a bunch of alcoholics? Good lord.

I have drunk champagne while getting ready, but honestly, of the 5 weddings I have been an attendant in, 3 of them involved getting the bride discreetly high before the wedding, and 1, my mom offered my h.s. bestie (the bride) and Xanax because she was so nervous.

Granted, the high-as-fuck weddings, one was my eco-caver friends, the two most competent people I know, to whom I will fight in case of a zombie apocalypse (and the wedding was at a cave site) and the other, the same year, 1995, was a year after we graduated college and we were all still huge potheads.

They were LOVELY weddings!

I admit I haven't paid too much attention to when the alcohol started being available, except for the one where the bridal party was an hour late, and the mother of the bride got hammered waiting for us, and heckled throughout the ceremony.

I think the couple separated less than six months in, but still, feel free to have open bars if you're not related to me.

Oh Steph!

With alcoholic family members at the wedding, I'd seriously consider giving the reception partyers drink chits rather than open bar, with maybe gift certificates for those who don't want the chits, because virtue should be rewarded.

Ugh, drinking can be so fraught.

With alcoholic family members at the wedding, I'd seriously consider giving the reception partyers drink chits rather than open bar, with maybe gift certificates for those who don't want the chits, because virtue should be rewarded.

I don't think drinking is inherently non-virtuous. Even if it's alcoholics doing it.

I have been to dry weddings because of (non-reformed) alcoholic parents, and one of the many reasons Tom and I eloped was to avoid having to deal with that stuff. It was just too hard and I knew that I didn't want to deal with it at all.

At my cousins' b'nai mitzvah a few months ago, I got carded. It was ridiculous. I didn't have my license with me, since I was in a fancy dress with no pockets and a little tiny purse, so I just put in the purse the things I thought I'd need. I told the bartender that I was 32 and had been legal to drink for over a decade, and I even went and found my mom and several other older relatives who would vouch for me, including the mother of the b'nai mitzvah kids, but no good. I looked too young, so no ID, no drink.

with maybe gift certificates for those who don't want the chits, because virtue should be rewarded.

I don't think drinking is inherently non-virtuous. Even if it's alcoholics doing it.

Yeah, I have a serious problem with "rewarding virtue" in this context.