Yeah, for me, rage is a sign of depression. (It's actually a shallower stage of depression.)

On the other hand, if you really think about life, rage is a perfectly reasonable response. This fact makes it hard for me to deal with emotional regulation issues.

Middle of nowhere.

Well, not really, but Sioux Falls, SD. Cousin's wedding. Thank god this is the last of them, because while I am glad of the excuse of seeing family, what is super convenient for that twig of the family (family farm is an hour from there) is a PITA to get to from just about anywhere else (hence me driving 4 hours to get there today.)

Mom was getting all nostalgic last night and saying how we should go back there more often and I barely refrained from asking what she was smoking. It's lovely, for sure. And SF is actually a nice city with a lot going on. But it takes all day to get there. I can fly to the west coast faster.

On the other hand, if you really think about life, rage is a perfectly reasonable response.

This is where I keep landing, to be honest. But also wanting to be able to function in society because, fucked up as it is, it's what we have to work with. So.

Today I am wearing the pink dress I wore to the NOLA prom 9 years ago. Armor.

Bev posted a thing on her Tumblr about the two wolves within us, happiness and anger, and how the one that wins is the one you feed. It sounds trite, but I've been consciously trying to let go of the little things that make me angry -- traffic, bad drivers, broken things -- and it's helping a little.

Sometimes that feels a little ostrich-like, but I'm tired of being mad all the time.

I'm tired of being mad all the time.

Oh, my, yes. Good luck.

The #yesallwomen reactions is so much "OMG, DO YOU REALIZE YOU ARE ACTUALLY MAKING THE POINT OF THE #YESALLWOMEN THING?"

I am increasingly grateful that no one I'm FB friends with gives me any lip about things I might post that they disagree with and/or are assholes about.

Yeah, I feel lucky no one does that to me on FB, either. And no one responded to any of my #YesAllWomen tweets with ugliness, which is probably a function of not many people following me, and most of them being women. Still, it was a relief.

Ack, you guys, I have to stop reading all the #yesallwomen stuff. Not because I can't handle the stories women are telling, but because I can't stand the insidious negation of those stories that immediately follows. It's like being in Invasion of the Body Snatchers and realizing everyone else is a pod. (#notallpods)

So much this.

And no one responded to any of my #YesAllWomen tweets with ugliness, which is probably a function of not many people following me, and most of them being women.

Yeah, Twitter and Tumblr are safe for me, mainly because hardly anyone sees what I say. FB, unfortunately is a minefield, and I don't have the energy to deal with it. I don't even have the energy to read my friends' FB posts anymore, which depresses me.

I am increasingly grateful that no one I'm FB friends with gives me any lip about things I might post that they disagree with and/or are assholes about.

FB, unfortunately is a minefield, and I don't have the energy to deal with it. I don't even have the energy to read my friends' FB posts anymore, which depresses me.

I actually haven't posted anything on FB because I don't think I can even handle anyone pushing back. (Yes, it would be "good" in the sense that I would know who to unfriend and avoid, but I just don't even have the emotional energy to handle someone saying "He wasn't a misogynist; he was just mentally ill!" or "You can say the same thing about the way women treat men!" or "WOMEN HAVE ALL THE POWER." I just can't.)

I can't stand the insidious negation of those stories that immediately follows.

and also

And no one responded to any of my #YesAllWomen tweets with ugliness

Ditto, and I can only assume it's because I got in really early and then stopped participating when I got overwhelmed and spoonless about the whole thing.

FB, unfortunately is a minefield, and I don't have the energy to deal with it.

I don't have a lot of directly combative types on my FB list, and everything is either friends or friends of friends, so I don't get much drive-by bullshit. But there is SO MUCH that I just don't even bother say there because it's just fucking TIRING to deal with "if I say this not even vaguely controversial thing, will so-and-so post some passive-aggressive weird shit half an hour later..." I got out of high school 25 years ago, people.