What I think you're speaking of are talismans, personal objects of significance, no matter their origin.

I think at this point Clovis has gone beyond being a talisman to being a tulpa. But other than my own version of the Velveteen Rabbit (WITHOUT THE PART THAT MAKES ME SOB, THANKS), there's the necklace with the silver keys and ankh that I always wear.

I always carry what I call a "fidget piece," which for the last 30 years has been a spoon-shaped piece of wood about 1" x 2" originally intended to be a keychain fob. It helps me deal with anxiety and nervous energy.

There's a reason I almost always wear a long necklace with some sort of pendant, in addition to the smaller necklace of keys and ankh.

Ack, you guys, I have to stop reading all the #yesallwomen stuff. Not because I can't handle the stories women are telling, but because I can't stand the insidious negation of those stories that immediately follows. It's like being in Invasion of the Body Snatchers and realizing everyone else is a pod. (#notallpods)

It seems so counter-productive, too.

Plus he could have sold the equipment for scrap. I swear that the thing I ask the most about my fellow humans is "What were they thinking?"

Plus he could have sold the equipment for scrap.

Hell, if he just wanted to get rid of it -- without necessarily wanting to sell it for scrap -- he could just set it out at the end of the driveway. I cannot believe how quickly stuff disappears on trash night. (Of course, a family of scrappers lives on my street, so there's that. But they drive all over certain neighborhoods depending on when trash night is, and haul shit back to their front yard to disassemble it. Those guys work their asses off.)

Especially in the 10 days before and during period, but also when I sleep really deep or long, I'll often wake up sweat-soaked like babies and toddlers do. It does wake me up, which I've always assumed is because it is a sleep cycle thing (like the sweaty babies) and just gets more crazy for the hormones.

msbelle, I just echo the find an outlet until you can see a dr. I've been hitting the rage a lot this past month, but for me, I know it is just because I'm stretched really thin with a lot of disruption to my routines (which soothe me,) and when that happens, I wear my civilization very thinly. Like yesterday. Also, acknowledge you are furious/ragely/frustrated.

Yesterday at the pool, I was seriously near angry tears in the showers after the kid puked and interrupted my swim. And I was all WTF. OK, sara honey, what's at the root? You wanted something NORMAL and routine, because nothing is this week. This is one of your safe places where you zone out. You were really counting on it today and it didn't go as planned. The reason you want to cry is not the thwarted continuous swim, it's that this week has been shit. OK, yeah, shit week. Now let's mock the absurdity of all this: RILLY MY LIFE? Nazi swim aerobics seniors, storms, puking kids, busted waterlines, 12 hrs travel for one day with family for a wedding, get me more ridic.(absurdity is a good redirect for me.) And then I wasn't as mad, just resigned and decided to wait to finish my swim rather than storm off angry at that fucking two-time puking kid.

I mean, my mom sent me chirpy email about how she was packed, and I was all SO NICE TO BE RETIRED I HAVE A JOB AND HOUSESTAFF OF ME ONLY WHY ARE YOU FLAUNTING YOUR LEISURE, but I didn't say that to her.

I've got the clothes mostly packed. Will decide on the pashmina/ cardigan for the dress tomorrow. Toiletries and stuff still to go. I might even have time to run the vacuum, but if not, oh well.

Of course, in my brilliance, I decided to dye my hair after all. At 11:45. Oh well.

I wish I had an answer, msbelle. Meditation, while not super easy when you are full of rage, might help? I like the app shrift mentioned the other day with its Pauses and Body Scans.

I have been feeling, lately, like I should take up boxing or something that gives me a reason to do some sort of punching. I don't know if it would actually make me feel better, but it certainly sounds appealing.

Rage can also be a sign of depression and/or anxiety....just a reminder.

Going off ADs and BD is a lot to throw at your body, if you did them close together. It might take some time, or it might not be worth going off everything.

Where ya goin, sara?

Ack, you guys, I have to stop reading all the #yesallwomen stuff. Not because I can't handle the stories women are telling, but because I can't stand the insidious negation of those stories that immediately follows. It's like being in Invasion of the Body Snatchers and realizing everyone else is a pod. (#notallpods)

So much this. I feel like a deep anger is settling into my bones that I used to be able to shake off. erin o's last FB post had me raging.