The undefined~ma I asked for the other day? I have been told that the desired result has happened but I'm still in the "I'll believe it when I see it" wait and see mode.
Met with the alternate advisor. She was ok - not the same approach to CJ but some new ideas. We will see what happens. My favorite part is when she asked what motivates him. I thought being suspended from active search and rescue would have been the key motivator to get his grades up, but 4 months later, here we are with no improvement. The fact that he can't be bribed should be a good thing, I guess, but arrrgggggg.
Yeah, to be honest I would find that kind of irritating Connie.
I guess I'm the spacetoaster in this, which isn't that much of a surprise.
My favorite part is when she asked what motivates him. I thought being suspended from active search and rescue would have been the key motivator to get his grades up, but 4 months later, here we are with no improvement. The fact that he can't be bribed should be a good thing, I guess, but arrrgggggg.
Can I mention something else about ADHD, or will it just be annoying and/or too much information to process right now?
Please, I'm open to any ideas.
I think the IEP is an excellent idea, and here's why. (Please bear in mind that I don't have ADD, and so all I can do is relate what I've learned from a crapload of reading and presentations, as well as the personal experience of Tim and other people with ADD, and parents of kids with ADD.)
Tim and I actually talked about this the other night: he considers it a disability, for him. (Which is not to say that other people with ADD consider it a disability, or *should* consider it a disability, etc. In fact, I have a hard time reconciling that in my own head: my husband is disabled.)
Anyway, he said that there was no amount of "motivation" or rewards in the world that could help him with his issues of inattentiveness, time-blindness, etc. Because what he needs is accomodation, not motivation. I didn't understand, and he said, "What if I took away your glasses, and asked you what would motivate you to see clearly? It's like that. I don't need a reward; I need help to accomplish what I need to accomplish."
Does that make sense? From what I understand from parents, the motivation/reward system works for kids without ADHD, but really doesn't work so well for kids with ADHD, because no matter how motivated they are, no matter how much they want the reward, their brain doesn't work the way it's expected to, and without accomodation like meds, coaching, extra time for tests, structure, etc., they're not going to accomplish what they need to accomplish.
My guess is that CJ needs the equivalent of glasses, not motivation. And from what I understand, an IEP is a great place to start.
I would be irritated if my roommate asked me to check in or out. That's family or relationship stuff, and maybe not even always then.
Oh, I meant irritated at being asked to announce my comings and goings.
Anyway, he said that there was no amount of "motivation" or rewards in the world that could help him with his issues of inattentiveness, time-blindness, etc. Because what he needs is accomodation, not motivation. I didn't understand, and he said, "What if I took away your glasses, and asked you what would motivate you to see clearly? It's like that. I don't need a reward; I need help to accomplish what I need to accomplish."
Wow. Steph, I'm going to write this down. This is exactly the way it is. I've never responded to motivation/reward, and never understood why. (Disclaimer: I've never been diagnosed ADD, mostly because I've never gone to a doctor who could, but I'm pretty sure I am. I don't think ADD was even a recognized Thing when I was a kid.)
That makes sense, Steph. Just trying to figure out what CJ's glasses are. The biggest problem seems to be getting homework done, which puts the onus back on me. Per the advisor, IEP isn't quite where we would start. The first step is to try out various accommodations to see what works and then write that up as a formal plan.
Don't recall if I said it above, she was going to go around to his classes with him, talk with the teachers to come up with a plan for what work needs to be done for him to pass the class and discuss potential accomodations.
He doesn't seem to need more time for tests. Seatting preference and help with organization are the big things. I'm also wondering, now, if I can get the teacher to send me the assigned homework so I can follow up with CJ on the stuff that is supposed to happen here.
