It seems like the problem is conflating race and culture, and being a minority. I mean, I'm as German as you are Chinese, but no one on the street would insist that I am German, because I get to be "regular American."
Every nightmare I have that doesn't revolve around academic failure or public nudity is about that thing. In fact, once I dreamt that it attacked me while I was late for a test and naked.
Willow ,'The Killer In Me'
Natter 72: We Were Unprepared for This
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
Jesse - Nov 26, 2013 5:00:59 am PST #12935 of 30000
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.
msbelle - Nov 26, 2013 5:03:41 am PST #12936 of 30000
I remember the crazy days. 500 posts an hour. Nubmer! Natgbsb
mac would only draw himself as white for at least 3 years after the adoption. He did his 3rd grade multi-cultural day presentation on the US, NY state. He will never volunteer up that he is African, but I just plug away at pride and culture, hoping he gets it from osmosis from the items around our house and the restaurants we eat at. Also me making him watch marathons.
Amy - Nov 26, 2013 5:05:45 am PST #12937 of 30000
Because books.
Also, can't being Chinese mean whatever it means to him, later on? Like Jesse said, I'm Irish the way you're Chinese, but it just means (to me) that I have ancestors who experienced a certain type of culture/historical events in Ireland.
Also, you're not failing at parenthood.
Kat - Nov 26, 2013 5:05:53 am PST #12938 of 30000
"I keep to a strict diet of ill-advised enthusiasm and heartfelt regret." Leigh Bardugo
I guess, too, I think the most defining part of his life and Grace's life will be growing up as set of twins, one of which has pretty high intensity special needs, to two gay parents. Culture is just going to be lower on his list of identifiers, maybe.
Kat - Nov 26, 2013 5:07:08 am PST #12939 of 30000
"I keep to a strict diet of ill-advised enthusiasm and heartfelt regret." Leigh Bardugo
But Noah is so adamant about NOT being Chinese. Then when he is almost ready to admit he is, he will look at Katie and say, "Are you Chinese too?"
Jesse - Nov 26, 2013 5:11:23 am PST #12940 of 30000
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.
Noah's got a lot going on! He'll be fine.
Also, I am reminded of my Memere insisting to me that she was not French, she was American. Now, I realize I should have said French-Canadian, but OK, Memere, lets have some tourtiere and talk about this some more....
Amy - Nov 26, 2013 5:14:07 am PST #12941 of 30000
Because books.
Noah's a little kid! He doesn't have to have it all figured out right now. He'll be fine, like Jesse said.
amych - Nov 26, 2013 5:16:50 am PST #12942 of 30000
Now let us crush something soft and watch it fountain blood. That is a girlish thing to want to do, yes?
Jesse's grandmother reminds me of mine, who was always and only American. Meanwhile, her sister was Jewish and her mother was Austrian. It's interesting what people will grab onto as their preferred identities, especially when we all really have multiples to choose from.
§ ita § - Nov 26, 2013 5:28:22 am PST #12943 of 30000
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
I didn't think I was black at about Noah's age. I was Jamaican (pretty easy when you live there), but I wasn't black. I was brown.
Then came the books.
msbelle - Nov 26, 2013 5:33:04 am PST #12944 of 30000
I remember the crazy days. 500 posts an hour. Nubmer! Natgbsb
work is so much improved with music (at least the type of work I was doing yesterday and most of what I am doing today). YAY iTouch!