I didn't think I was black at about Noah's age. I was Jamaican (pretty easy when you live there), but I wasn't black. I was brown.

Then came the books.

work is so much improved with music (at least the type of work I was doing yesterday and most of what I am doing today). YAY iTouch!

Urgh. My internal thermostat is still broken. I am continually uncomfortable.

And I have a ton of shit to rip through today. A year's worth of status reports to summarise.

I sometimes worry if my kids will identify as Jewish when they grow up. I'm not even really sure why it's important to me - DH and I are both atheists, and the only time I've set foot in a synagogue in the past 20 years was to go to a retirement party for two of my former Hebrew school teachers.

(There is an atheist/secular Jewish congregation in NYC but it's in Manhattan and would be a pretty long subway trip for the kids, especially Friday evenings.)

I agree with amyth that there are so many identities to chose from and some, for me, that are so much more present and interesting than cultural. But, because I grew up in such a white place, I always knew I wasn't white because everyone else was. Noah and Grace are growing up in a really diverse neighborhood (well, in every way that is not related to economics at least) and for them, perhaps, being Asian is not as front and center.

I agree with amyth that there are so many identities to chose from and some, for me, that are so much more present and interesting than cultural. But, because I grew up in such a white place, I always knew I wasn't white because everyone else was. Noah and Grace are growing up in a really diverse neighborhood (well, in every way that is not related to economics at least) and for them, perhaps, being Asian is not as front and center.

Jessica, might it have to do with identifying as Jewish culturally rather than religiously?

I obviously identify very strongly as Italian, even though I'm only half. My mom is predominantly English and Irish, and I barely acknowledge it all. I can't even imagine what my self-identity would be if the Italian wasn't there.

Gah, getting Molly into her carrier for her vet appointment this morning Did Not Go Well. She took fright when I tried to close the cat carrier on her after tossing her tinfoil ball in, and then bit through my winter gloves and chewed up my right index finger pretty badly when I picked her up and put her in by force. But she came through her surgery (spaying) fine, and will be ready for pickup in about 4 hours.

My dad was raised by the children of Finnish immigrants and spoke Finnish at home until he went to school. Then he refused to speak Finnish (except to his grandma--grandmas get a pass) and was all English-only American until sometime after he came back from WWII. There was probably a fair bit of peer pressure in action. From his 20s on Dad was a proud Finnish-Ammerican who really regretted that his Finnish language skills weren't very good. Blue and white flags, t-shirts with various Finn jokes, Sisu license plates--he went all in.

So Noah and Mac might come back to their respective heritages at a later date.

I can pretty much guarantee my parents think they did heritage wrong when it comes to raising me. My sister is convinced I don't see myself as Jamaican, and even though people who only barely know me here know I certainly don't see myself as American, given her surprise at that, I imagine she is either representing the family line, or they've never talked about it.

Given my family, the latter is unlikely.

Maybe it's not enough? Maybe I should be living in Jamaica, or hanging out with more Jamaicans and/or family or living in Inglewood (my mother would quickly go back on that, though). But that's their metric. I know how I feel, though.

She also thinks she might have done a bad racial job, but unless the rules involve growing your hair long or only dating black (THEY DO NOT) they're pretty fucking okay, actually.

Which is to say, you can't know their hearts, and at their age, neither do they, and as adults, it's all very complicated, and all you can give them is exposure.

Okay, back to status reports...