Steph, you are a delight, and the world is richer for your presence.

Thanks, all my bridesmaiddudepeople!

And here's the thing: I know my mom loves me. She was raised by a mean alcoholic whose levels of dysfunction I shudder to imagine (seeing as how he was mostly passed out by the time I came along and knew him, so I never really got to know him), so she didn't have a good model (or even a passable model) of a healthy family. And I love her. She really actually has mellowed with time.

The good part is where *I* have actually gotten perspective and some measure of mental health with time, and I totally get what she's doing when she posts teasing-mean comments on FB. I still don't like it, and I wish she wouldn't do it where Tim's family can read it, but I get it, and -- I suppose this is the most important part -- it doesn't impact my definition of myself. My self-image isn't contingent on her opinion of me any more.

Besides, I can be a pain, but not any more than anyone else. Tim's family has been on week-long vacations with me 4 times now -- and while I try to be on my best behavior and not swear like I'm in a Mamet play, they still have some idea of what I'm like. And they still love me. Because I am an endless fountain of delight.

Steph is my hero.

It took a LOT of work and a LONG time to get here.

Also, all bets are off for the wedding. I don't even know what to expect. My mom will probably be tipsy and charming but possibly obnoxious as hell, my dad will probably corner people he doesn't know so he can tell them at great length about his medical history OR he will be strung out on percocet and say really REALLY inappropriate things, probably of the racist and/or sexist variety.

Nothing but good times ahead.

J. family teasing is often like that.(So was my mom's mom. I am amazed every day that she is, well, not a complete wreck.Also, mostly awesome.) My extended family still believes I don't have a sense of humor. Really? Aw, Tep. If I had a transporter I'd visit and be the buffer. "What happened" to me could probably eat up twenty minutes,combined with how we met and avoided sexual slavery.

Steph, you are awesome and I'm glad you realize it.

My advice for the wedding? Let them do whatever they want. It's your day and they cannot ruin it. It does not reflect on you. Or Tim.

My advice for the wedding? Let them do whatever they want. It's your day and they cannot ruin it. It does not reflect on you. Or Tim.

That's my plan. It's not so much that I'm expecting the worst; more that I'm just calculating the possibilities so that *if* they act in a way Miss Manners would not approve of, it won't surprise me and then I can just get on with enjoying myself.

I think the best one can hope for in a wedding are disasters that make good stories.

Come up with wedding bingo. After the reception, see how many boxes you can cross off.

I'm trying to be chill about it. It could be so much worse. I know Dad just wants to feel included, wants people to know he's Not Just A Guest, wants to feel honored, etc. I get that. Plus he might have been whacked out on percocet when he decided he wants to be twinsies with my future husband (CREEPY), and has already totally forgotten it. (OTOH, I know my brother -- who is officiating -- bought a black suit, and if Dad shows up and he thinks Jeff and Tim "match" but he doesn't, he'll be pissed. So maybe I should just encourage him to drop $400+ on a suit he'll only wear once. I don't even know.)

Boutonnière?