Come up with wedding bingo. After the reception, see how many boxes you can cross off.

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I'm trying to be chill about it. It could be so much worse. I know Dad just wants to feel included, wants people to know he's Not Just A Guest, wants to feel honored, etc. I get that. Plus he might have been whacked out on percocet when he decided he wants to be twinsies with my future husband (CREEPY), and has already totally forgotten it. (OTOH, I know my brother -- who is officiating -- bought a black suit, and if Dad shows up and he thinks Jeff and Tim "match" but he doesn't, he'll be pissed. So maybe I should just encourage him to drop $400+ on a suit he'll only wear once. I don't even know.)

Boutonnière?

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Trudy says what I meant to earlier.

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Boutonnière?

Seriously, this is a great suggestion. It's a small thing, but an important gesture. We got a white boutonnière for each member of our family who attended our LA reception, and it meant a lot to them.

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I've been feeling kind of absent myself lately. The thing I try to remember is that we will always be Buffistas and people will always care about us here, even if we have to take a break from time to time.

I take comfort in this. Still always reference my online friends and tell stories of the awesomeness to be found here.

And, of course, I cherish the fact that you guys indulge Birthday Attention Ho's so well (One week from today, for those playing along at home! Right between Cass & Steph - 'cuz I Can Too share the attention!)

And wow, Steph, apparently our moms were separated at birth. Who knew? You seem like you have a really healthy, mature grasp on the situation - no doubt hard-won. I hope your folks rein it in and you have a wonderful, beautiful wedding day.

eta:

Seriously, this is a great suggestion. It's a small thing, but an important gesture. We got a white boutonnière for each member of our family who attended our LA reception, and it meant a lot to them.

Seconded.

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We were planning on boutonnières and corsages for family members -- I think maybe my dad doesn't know that. Or he just really wants to wear a black suit. Sometimes you just get so obsessed with an idea that you won't be happy unless you do it. I'm just going to consider myself lucky that all he wants to do is dress exactly like Tim (CREEPY SO CREEPY) and doesn't want to, I don't know, serenade me at the reception or something.

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Tep's mom's comments came across to me as teasing. Not particularly funny teasing, but I don't think anyone would take them seriously.

As for bad behavior at the wedding, trust me, Tim's family will be too busy thinking things like "Oh my god, Uncle Sven is such a blowhard and he's probably boring Tep's charming brother to death," and "Please let no one ask Great Aunt Marta about her Rand Paul bumper sticker" to notice what your family is doing.

The fact that my grandmother went around my wedding telling people from both sides that we only got married because we "had to" (she wasn't getting enough attention and I guess stirring up drama by lying was how she got it) turned into a great anecdote pretty quick.

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You could give him a tie for the wedding that does not match Tim's. Also, I just discovered there are "father of the bride" tie clips [link]

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You could give him a tie for the wedding that does not match Tim's.

Heh. If he asks about Tim's tie, we are flat-out lying. There is no way he is getting a knot-print tie. It's creepy enough that he wants to match the man I'm marrying, but throwing a kink in-joke into the mix is not going to happen.

Also, I just discovered there are "father of the bride" tie clips [link].

That might make him happy, but then maybe not because it won't match Tim.

(I'm sorry to keep harping on it, but there is -- to me, who has to live it -- a creepy undertone to my dad wanting to dress identically to my husband. I know he's not intending a creepy thing, but IT IS. If we had a wedding party, it would be different; lots of weddings all the men, including the FOB, are in tuxes. But since we're non-traditional here, there's something vaguely Greek-play-esque about the bride's father wanting to be dressed exactly like the man the bride is about to marry.

I realize it sounds like I'm reading way too much into this, but -- no. Feelings are not wrong, and I feel creeped the fuck out by it, and I'm just trying to ignore it because if I push back too hard -- well, it doesn't matter. He already told me he's going to wear what he wants, and what he wants is a suit like Tim's.)

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Tep's mom's comments came across to me as teasing. Not particularly funny teasing, but I don't think anyone would take them seriously.

See, I thought they went too far, but given that my whole family is all about the teasing, and I certainly tease friends and loved ones, I was a bit like "well damn, teasing is so not ok with y'all!" from the responses. We do also tend to joke about awful things. An sure, sometimes it can go too far (I don't think I'd say anything like Stephs mom!) but...yeah. Dunno.

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