Rather than simplifying being my goal perhaps being Crazy Aunt Laura might be achievable....

Could be fun, eh? Right up there with Auntie Mame.

Tonight I got a reminder of why I have certain...difficulties. Okay, I'm a box (and other empty container) hoarder. It's a problem of major proportions.

And yet...

Tonight, an expensive lotion bottle gave up the ghost. Within a matter of moments, I found a clean, appropriate container, in just the right size.

I'm always telling my clients that some of their unwanted habits persist because they work.

Case in point.

Bonny, that's a lot! Good for you!

Thank you o_a. I have a feeling you have experience with tech boneyards.

I used to answer the mail for a non-profit. Before the internet, people would send in donations by check in memory of someone, I'd send a formal handwritten card to the family informing them of the donation and the donor, and a receipt to the donor. Once our receipt copy was filed, there was no need to keep the donor's note. Often they were on beautiful notecards or greeting cards. Frequently sent in envelopes that were lined with decorated paper.

My framer loved me. "What did you bring me this time?" We both had fun picking out mat colors and frame designs to showcase the subject. I gave many framed tiny works of art at baby showers, bridal showers, housewarmings, birthdays, promotion parties, and Christmases. I kept a file of notecards (just the fronts) and postcards, ready to frame and present, tailored to the recipient's taste and the occasion.

As I sit here, I'm looking at a quartet of Mary Englebreit Christmas cards, framed together in a windowpane mat, that we hang every Christmas. The rest of the year four WWI vintage postcards, found in new condition in my g'ma's button box, hang there, windowpane-matted and framed. On a small niche wall nearby hang a couple of tiny prints, one a recycled notecard front, the other a showcard for a limited edition print. The nonprofit would often receive a donation of a print to award as a prize for a silent auction, or for a donation level. What would be delivered for the event was the showcard, a miniature version of the print itself. One presented the showcard at the gallery when picking up the print. As I often picked up and delivered the print to the winner, I got to keep the showcard(s).

In the old house, with its odd, cut-up walls, there were lots of groupings of small prints, which fit those spaces better than a single, larger piece.

I don't know. Take another look at your greeting cards before you shred them. You might have the perfect spot to hang a tiny work of art, or group of them.

The decorative envelope lining spray-glued and folded around a strip of heavy card stock (or discarded manilla folder) made gorgeous one-of-a kind bookmarks for small gifts. Punch a hole in one end and thread through and knot a piece of sparkly cord or ribbon.

I am a cheap gift-giver.

Beverly, that sounds wonderful. I have bunches of lovely cards I can't throw away because they're so pretty. I could do that.

I have requested free wallpaper samples of wildly pricey wallpaper I had no intentions of buying (because WHOA HELLA EXPENSIVE) and framed it.

Only a few times, but still. Looking JUST in my office, I have 3 framed card fronts/postcards and a framed owl wallpaper sample from Anthropologie. (Of all the literal trash the ex-wife left in the garage, there WERE a quite a few frames I ruthlessly plundered.)

We had the large annual shindig for Tim's family tonight (it's really a birthday party for a beloved aunt, but it's an excuse for 60-80 extended family members to get together an catch up). This is the first time we've seen almost all of them since last January (so, since before the wedding).

We got hectored at length by an aunt about having BABEEEEEEEEZ! YOU MUST HAVE BAAAAAAABEEEEEEEEZZZZZ!!! What? How old ARE you? Well, then you HAVE TO ADOPT! Do you KNOW how many children NEED a good home? WHO will TAKE CARE OF YOU when you're OLD?!?!? Oh, come on, you SAY you're not maternal, but you'll change your mind when you have your own BAAAAAABEEEEEEZ.

Wanted to punch so hard. So so hard.

And then we found out that Aunt M. (not the birthday aunt or the BABEEEEZ aunt) is hurt, SO VERY HURT, that she wasn't invited to the wedding, even though NO aunts and uncles were invited to the wedding. She doesn't care, she's hurt because she was excluded. Sister-in-law explained that I have crowd anxiety and wanted it to just be immediate family. Aunt said that's no reason to EXCLUDE loved ones. Then Aunt asked sister-in-law, referring to me, "So...do you LIKE her?" Sister-in-law, who is an absolute gem who I love, said, "I *love* her!" Aunt said, "...oh. Well, okay, then."

Gah, family, you are only reinforcing the infinite wisdom in our decision to NOT invite you.

Also, wearing heels for 7 hours was maybe not the best idea ever. Jesus God, my feet hurt.

Ah, the infinite soap opera that is blood.

The funny thing is -- and I said this to BiL tonight -- Tim's family is WAY more chill and low-drama than the average family (really, it's like they're all super zen stoners), so this did kind of catch me off-guard. I knew Aunt M. was high-maintenance, but didn't expect her to give a shit about the wedding.

Babies Aunt is someone who I actually haven't had a conversation of any substance with before, so I wasn't sure what to expect (but it wasn't an obsession with my damn uterus, that's for sure).

I'm convinced that some people just say that to all newlyweds, as if it were just the culturally expected response. But yeah, it's really annoying.

The Matrimonial Checklist:

"When are you getting engaged?"
"When are you getting married?"
"When are you having kids?"
"When are you having another kid?"
"When are you having grandkids?"

there's always a question.

Beverly, that's a great idea for cards! I need to make myself a note about what size of frame I need to look for at thrift stores, because I've got a hoard of postcards and gothy note cards I want to keep and display.