We had the large annual shindig for Tim's family tonight (it's really a birthday party for a beloved aunt, but it's an excuse for 60-80 extended family members to get together an catch up). This is the first time we've seen almost all of them since last January (so, since before the wedding).
We got hectored at length by an aunt about having BABEEEEEEEEZ! YOU MUST HAVE BAAAAAAABEEEEEEEEZZZZZ!!! What? How old ARE you? Well, then you HAVE TO ADOPT! Do you KNOW how many children NEED a good home? WHO will TAKE CARE OF YOU when you're OLD?!?!? Oh, come on, you SAY you're not maternal, but you'll change your mind when you have your own BAAAAAABEEEEEEZ.
Wanted to punch so hard. So so hard.
And then we found out that Aunt M. (not the birthday aunt or the BABEEEEZ aunt) is hurt, SO VERY HURT, that she wasn't invited to the wedding, even though NO aunts and uncles were invited to the wedding. She doesn't care, she's hurt because she was excluded. Sister-in-law explained that I have crowd anxiety and wanted it to just be immediate family. Aunt said that's no reason to EXCLUDE loved ones. Then Aunt asked sister-in-law, referring to me, "So...do you LIKE her?" Sister-in-law, who is an absolute gem who I love, said, "I *love* her!" Aunt said, "...oh. Well, okay, then."
Gah, family, you are only reinforcing the infinite wisdom in our decision to NOT invite you.
Also, wearing heels for 7 hours was maybe not the best idea ever. Jesus God, my feet hurt.
Ah, the infinite soap opera that is blood.
The funny thing is -- and I said this to BiL tonight -- Tim's family is WAY more chill and low-drama than the average family (really, it's like they're all super zen stoners), so this did kind of catch me off-guard. I knew Aunt M. was high-maintenance, but didn't expect her to give a shit about the wedding.
Babies Aunt is someone who I actually haven't had a conversation of any substance with before, so I wasn't sure what to expect (but it wasn't an obsession with my damn uterus, that's for sure).
I'm convinced that some people just say that to all newlyweds, as if it were just the culturally expected response. But yeah, it's really annoying.
The Matrimonial Checklist:
"When are you getting engaged?"
"When are you getting married?"
"When are you having kids?"
"When are you having another kid?"
"When are you having grandkids?"
there's always a question.
Beverly, that's a great idea for cards! I need to make myself a note about what size of frame I need to look for at thrift stores, because I've got a hoard of postcards and gothy note cards I want to keep and display.
My MiL is awful in that way. It was about 20 minutes after my BiL's wedding before she started asking his wife when they were having kids. However, she get her comeuppance from her own daughter, who responded to her mother's "when can we expect grandkids" request at a family brunch by saying, "Mom, I refused to marry Dave unless he got a vasectomy, so don't look at me for grandchildren."
Even if you aren't married/engaged, family asks stupid questions.
- Got a girlfriend yet?
- Why don't you have a girlfriend yet?
- Are you gay?
- Why don't you go to bars, and meet some girls?
- If you don't like bars, you could meet girls at coffee shops, why not go there?
- You don't have to drink coffee at a coffee shop
Yeah, there are more, but that's the gist. The words "shy" and "introverted" seem to be words they never learned.
Thank you o_a. I have a feeling you have experience with tech boneyards.
When I was packing (after 7 years in one apartment) for my move to Texas, I filled an entire pick up truck with e-waste and cables. Got about $100. So yeah, a little bit of experience with it. Current job doesn't not allow throwing out old equipment. Gotta love state jobs. All those old, expensive, audio gear are "State Assets". Too bad most aren't worth a damn anymore. But boy howdy do they take up space!
All this work will not show much difference in the "look what I did".
What are you blabbering about, love? That's a hell lot of work! Go you!
Wanted to punch so hard. So so hard.
Amazed you didn't do that. For realz.
there's always a question.
And sometimes, violence just might be the answer. (Well, OK, I just usually answer nosy relative along the lines of "nope, not yet. And how was your recent divorce?").
