I remember years ago there was this huge debate running in one of the advice columns - a couple who were vegetarian announced that they wouldn't be serving meat at the wedding dinner. A number of their invited guests announced that if there wasn't any meat - how COULD THEY?!?!?! - they wouldn't be attending. My reaction was "huh?"
I've seen letters like that in numerous advice columns. Once, someone asked if they really needed to bring a gift, since they weren't getting a "real meal." I felt like responding, "Do you know how many weddings I've been to where I brought a gift and all I could eat was a baked potato?" (Though my favorite was at my cousins' b'nai mitzvah, where the waiter first tried to tell me that fish was vegan, then, when I finally convinced him that the plate of fish in front of me was not vegan, he removed it, replaced it with an identical plate of fish, and said, "There. Vegan.")
Bit of a leap from "kosher dairy" to "vegetarian" much less "vegan".
Though is IS handy if you're pescetarian.
Once, someone asked if they really needed to bring a gift, since they weren't getting a "real meal."
A gift isn't the price of admission, or payment for a meal. Yeesh. A gift isn't even required (although it's rude as hell to not even acknowledge the nuptials via a card).
Things I cannot say elsewhere: Dear 23 year old guy who's FB profile photo looks like a very stoned 13 year old: Sending me a message of "I'd like to fuck you" with a winky emoticon is not going to get a reply. However, Pete is considering posting on your FB page.
Ah, internets.
Anyway, back on topic: people who complain about weddings they're attending are a mystery to me. You're there because the couple wants you to celebrate with them! It's not about food, alcohol, or gifts.
A gift isn't the price of admission, or payment for a meal. Yeesh. A gift isn't even required (although it's rude as hell to not even acknowledge the nuptials via a card).
Don't even get me started on the close friends and family who didn't feel any need to acknowledge our wedding in any way (including a card or phone call) because we eloped.
Things I cannot say elsewhere: Dear 23 year old guy who's FB profile photo looks like a very stoned 13 year old: Sending me a message of "I'd like to fuck you" with a winky emoticon is not going to get a reply. However, Pete is considering posting on your FB page.
Ick.
A gift isn't the price of admission, or payment for a meal. Yeesh. A gift isn't even required (although it's rude as hell to not even acknowledge the nuptials via a card).
Don't even get me started on the close friends and family who didn't feel any need to acknowledge our wedding in any way (including a card or phone call) because we eloped.
The flip side, though, is how overwhelmed I was with love from people who weren't invited but sent cards or even gifts anyway. Some people are pretty swell.
The flip side, though, is how overwhelmed I was with love from people who weren't invited but sent cards or even gifts anyway. Some people are pretty swell.
We did have some unexpected and very generous gifts as well. Plus the lovely strangers who bough us champagne and dessert at the restaurant we had dinner at after we eloped.
Don't even get me started on the close friends and family who didn't feel any need to acknowledge our wedding in any way (including a card or phone call) because we eloped.
Did you send out an announcement? We did and that prompted a bunch of cards and stuff, which was really nice. Mostly not gifts, but well wishes.
I must admit, when I got invited to a wedding of a second cousin who I wouldn't know from Eve if I met her on the sidewalk, I didn't feel too bad about not sending a gift, much less going. She's from the super-religious branch of the family that seemed to remember ours when fundraising opportunities arose (my folks helped fund a fair bit of "mission" travel), but couldn't be bothered to come to Mom or Dad's funerals. So the invitation got an eye-roll and a polite refusal. If I actually gave a rats ass about any of them, though, the reception menu would not have made a difference in attendance or gift giving. I make my decisions based on years of simmering familial resentment, thank you, not food.
