wrong thread!

Thanks, Andi.

If not sales, at least morale.

My morale is already improved.

Oh, wow, Ginger. I was looking at some parents teaching their kids bad habits by crossing the street in the dark where there was no stop sign. Even though everyone had their sparkly lights and flashlight cellphones going, you don't take a two year old on a really slow jaywalk. It's not worth it.

Does anyone get TorTers in apartment buildings? Every year I worry that the kids who live in the building will do a go round, and I don't have anything. It would be daft to stock up for the three kids that can get in.

My hairdresser appreciated my attempt at fancy makeup and my tiara.

I got my hairs did yesterday too! Or undid. My barber (well, he's not *my* barber, since they don't let you specify for buzzcuts, but he will pick me out of the waiting people to cut my hair, and we spend half of it joking how hard he trained for this very moment, how I'm the epitome of hairstyle complexity and sophistication) said volume was light and they'd get out an hour early--he was going to do Halloween in WeHo, and his costume was packaged meat--he was going to wear a g string and be wrapped in saran wrap with a price/weight sticker ("with your Bob's discount card, this cut is CHEAP) and carry a paddle for anyone who wanted to "tenderise" him. His husband was going as a butcher. He never fails to amuse me, and he also gives me a free head-wash in return for being allowed to stroke my stubble.

I wonder if straight guys have a sensual but non-sexual desire to touch parts of women's bodies. A fair number of gay guys I know have taken a charming delight in stroking my head or cupping my butt--I don't know if they're playing straight, want some strings-free touching, all or none of the above. But I enjoy light petting well enough.

More than one gay dude has fondled my breasts. I've always just chalked that up to breasts being a universal good.

Oh Ginger, how tragic. I'm so sorry for her family, and for that driver.

We got no trick or treaters, and I bought no candy in expectation. I did, however, celebrate my favorite holiday, the thrice-annual Half-Price Candy Day, by picking up a couple of bags of H's favorites.

More than one gay dude has fondled my breasts. I've always just chalked that up to breasts being a universal good.

I think--no, I know--I've had more platonic fondles than down and dirty ones. Ah, life.

I have been tempted to stroke the small of the backs of pretty young women, and I'm probably a 0.5 on the Kinsey scale. I just wanted to see if the skin was as soft as it looked. Plus there's the time I freaked out the young punk chick by saying she had a gorgeous skull and her bald head looked very nice.

OMG! dead of the cute!

Plus there's the time I freaked out the young punk chick by saying she had a gorgeous skull and her bald head looked very nice.

I'm surprised. I get that a *lot*. I'd assume most bald women would become inured. As long as they don't touch without consent, it's a nice compliment, but I'd have shaved my head anyway.

Just got back from eye surgery at Clarus. Clarus also does audiology. And they figured that as long as they had a captive audience in the waiting room for eye surgery, that they would try to sell hearing aids. So here was the audiologist's hard sell pitch. I may have spoiled it a bit by laughing about halfway through it. See if you get a giggle from it.

1) 50% of people over 53 need hearing aids. Also if you are having serious eye problems there is a good chance that you have hearing problems as well, no matter what your age. So you, yes you probably need a hearing aid.

2) Now it is true that hearing aids are expensive. But studies have shown that people who need hearing aids and don't get them suffer from depression, low self-esteem, social isolation and ... In short, if you need a hearing aid, life is not worth living without one.

3) What if you already have a hearing aid? Well, there has been a revolution in hearing aid manufacturing. So if your hearing aid is more than two years old, it is garbage compared to what is standard today. Note that at this point the audiologist has defined her market as all of the following A) Anyone 53 or over B) anyone with serious eye problems C) anyone already wearing a hearing aid that is over two years old.

4) But, you may be thinking, the hearing aids this place sell are expensive. Maybe I should get a new hearing aid, but shop elsewhere before buying one here. It turns out that the new revolutionary hearing aids require advanced programming skills that are not included in standard audiologist education. But this audiologist, standing right in front of people in a waiting room waiting for eye surgery, has advanced professional training in programming the new generation of hearing aids. You plain old audiologist down the road can't come close to her mad digital hearing aid adjustment skills. So not only had you better get a new hearing aid if you want your life not to be miserable, you need to get it from this audiologist, or it will never be adjusted right.

So, I have no idea what her real skills are as an audiologist, but she definitely has what it takes to sell used cars.