Dear dishwasher instructions:

"Open junction box" is a cruel joke, right?

I heard some scrabbling behind the (defunct) dishwasher and pulled out the dishwasher to find at least one way they're getting in. I need to get the dishwasher out to seal the hole. I got the hoses off fine, but to disconnect the electrical line, I have to get inside the damn junction box.

I have set two snap traps and put out ant bait.

I am not happy.

Ginger, ants inside are awful. My sympathies.

I get ants multiple times per year. It's the worst. Right up there with the termite swarms. Termite sex all over my kitchen floor. PARtay.

When I figure out where the ants are coming in, I create a barrier with Dawn and cinnamon. The last few times, it's really worked.

I am handicapped in tracking ants in the kitchen by my black counter tops. The ants really obvious when they're covering the inside of yesterday's cereal bowl, though.

Egad.

Until this very second, I had always thought that black counter tops were super cool.

Ugh.

Yeah, we get brown ants - on our brown variegated "granite" counters. Tricky. In addition to trying to seal up everything I can find, I've also had decent luck with the ant-bait things. I also have a little bit of a Jillifont problem, so that was amusing when the two came head-to-head (jillions of little ant-corpses by my bathroom baseboards. Shudder.)

Good luck, Ginger.

assholes are incredibly adept and finding people they can take advantage of.

Bingo. And (speaking from some similar personal experiences) if you're not a person who doesn't inherently and automatically look for people who can be taken advantage of, it's difficult to recognize right away when people are doing that to you. You're being friendly and helpful, because that's what you do, because that's what good people do. It's not your fault that other people are jerks.

Oh Ginger, I'm so sorry.

Bingo. And (speaking from some similar personal experiences) if you're not a person who doesn't inherently and automatically look for people who can be taken advantage of, it's difficult to recognize right away when people are doing that to you. You're being friendly and helpful, because that's what you do, because that's what good people do. It's not your fault that other people are jerks.

One upshot of this recent naval gazing is the recognition that I was never as bad a person as I thought I was...at any given point in my life.

Thanks for saying it's not my fault but there are two truths that spring from this patterned experience...I am somehow training people to treat me this way.

I'm not blaming myself, but observing the ipso facto rule. Since not everyone experiences this phenomenon, but I have consistent experience of it, there must be some attracting function I am not yet aware of.

The other thing is, it may not be my fault, but it is definitely a pothole in my life.

I've realized that my biggest problem is not so much money or health, but discouragement. Without doubt, it is my biggest...what is infinitely bigger than a stumbling block?

So, I come to this conclusion, and then, in rapid succession I get a three enormous reasons to be discouraged.

I can't seem to learn how to overcome it while simultaneously drowning in it.

bonny, I'd say it's not that you're training people, per se. It's more that people need someone to help them out, they look around and see that so-and-so is a "helper". You just need what I call "the gift of 'no'". I "received" the gift of 'no' at a church I used to go to. I was a volunteer with the youth group, and helped out in the nursery sometimes, did some drama, etc, etc. One day somebody asked me to help out with something else (I think it was creating a booth for a fair - not working at it, creating it, theme, decor, everything) - for a second I started re-arranging my schedule in my head, then I realized I just couldn't practically do it. So I told her no, and after a second of ENORMOUS guilt, I felt Such Relief. And I realized that it didn't make me bad person, I just had to know where my boundary was. And it wasn't that she was a bad person, she just knew that I was a "good helper" and she needed help.

It's not that you're inviting selfish assholes in, it's that people who are selfish assholes know to look around for a "helper". You just need to know your boundaries and respect the fact that you're allowed to put yourself first in your life.

And if that all just came off as self-righteous and know-it-all, please feel free to ignore the words and just embrace the intent (to get you to not beat up on yourself, 'cuz I'd rather no one beat up on bonny - I'm kinda fond of her).

And if that all just came off as self-righteous and know-it-all, please feel free to ignore the words and just embrace the intent (to get you to not beat up on yourself, 'cuz I'd rather no one beat up on bonny - I'm kinda fond of her).

Bless.

Not at all. I truly appreciate the perspective.

The trick I haven't figured out is, where do I draw the line between saying no to everything in order to avoid jerky behavior and actually being a helper?

By agreeing to care for two cats for two days, I had no idea what I would be facing.

The owner intimated this evening that he had no idea the former friend wouldn't be taking care of the cats this weekend. That seems strange, given that they share a yard and she is away, 48 out of 52 weekends a year.

Either way, in agreeing to scoop a pan and fill a bowl, I had no idea I'd be facing an incredibly stressful biohazard.

I have no detector!!