Or, just tell me to shut up if this isn't helpful.

Nope, definitely helpful!

I do have an appointment for a test run for my hair, but I feel like I at least need to be able to tell her up or down, you know? (Actually, my problem is that I want to wear it down because I don't like the way I look in pictures with it up, but I'm afraid that wearing it down will be too hot.)

Where are you thinking you want to go on your honeymoon?

Northern California -- our problem is that we know where we want to go; we just haven't sat down to actually book flights, car, accomodations, etc.

Tips for writing wedding vows

I have some stuff bookmarked, but, again, our problem is that we haven't sat down to actually DO it.

And we still need to get a marriage license -- not a huge deal, but Tim has to take time off work to do it, and once again, he just needs to pick a date, take the morning off, and DO IT. (Well, we have to go together, but I have a lot of free time right now.)

Have your stylist test one up and one down do.

We finally got our vows written by taking a couple of hours, the week of the wedding, going to a coffee shop, sitting separately, and writing them. My problem was I wanted to get too much in! But also didn't want to stand up there boring people for hours. I think it worked out in the end... well we are still happily married!

I do have an appointment for a test run for my hair, but I feel like I at least need to be able to tell her up or down, you know? (Actually, my problem is that I want to wear it down because I don't like the way I look in pictures with it up, but I'm afraid that wearing it down will be too hot.)

Bring a picture of your wedding gown, tell your stylist what type of jewelery you plan on wearing, and just have her try things until you're happy.

TCG and I didn't write our vows together, we just each wrote on our own what we wanted to say.

Northern California -- our problem is that we know where we want to go; we just haven't sat down to actually book flights, car, accomodations, etc.

That sounds like fun.

Have your stylist test one up and one down do

And explain the difficulty. Your stylist may have a reccomendation that will solve the problem. Like a half-up, half-down, tendrils or ringlets deal.

Northern California -- our problem is that we know where we want to go; we just haven't sat down to actually book flights, car, accomodations, etc.

Watch you end up in San Francisco while I'm in Columbus. Heh.

HEY STEPH YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED WOOOOOOO.

I've been really surprised and a bit disappointed, that none of my recent couples have wanted to write their own vows.

I'm happy to provide, but I think it really takes something away from the moment.

I'd probably send out multiple drafts, in the hugely unlikely event, of course. "People with the blue vows, forget it. I'm working off th e buff ones now." But that is part of the reason I probably won't need them, huh?

Hubby and I weren't too particular about vows, we were just interested in legality. We sat down with the preacher we'd finally found and looked at their standard vows, removed the Obey part--mid '80s, that still cropped up--and called it good. I don't remember a bit of what I promised, though I do enjoy telling people that I haven't official sworn to anything since my wedding day.

Teppy, my primary wedding advice is: The wedding is one day. The marriage is a lifetime. Prioritize accordingly.

I'm not the best at gauging people's moods even in person. So if you aren't looking for practical advice, skip the rest of this post.

Try doing one thing today. Say, buy shoes.

While you're doing that, I'll ask the hivemind: What IS the best cry-proof mascara?

This new-fangled fashion of writing your own vows, I dunno, I like the traditional ones with a little bit of reconstruction for modern sensibilities and not making promises I'm not actually planning on keeping. So yeah, out with the obey bit. ETA: but I am totally down with the having and holding, and better and worse stuff.