My God. As if I needed to feel even worse about this whole thing, I ran into the dog and his person...no longer my friend...this morning on our walk. Of course, right?

Her response? "I'm mad at us both for..." and then couldn't really finish the sentence meaning that "we" somehow 'pushed' the dog to socialize too soon.

He's been in my house, playing with my dog before. Cagney loves him. There was absolutely no reason to think they could not play together.

She offered to pay half of the bill, but I have to wait until she gets some pending check.

Did I mention, that while I was waiting in the urgent care reception for _hours_ with constantly bleeding wounds, she felt it was the right time to tell me all about her financial problems. She has a working partner and 3 businesses. I don't think they are necessarily rolling in dough, but even in my extreme financial straits, I'd do my duty, if it were me.

I don't think she needs to pay for the $80 tetanus shot. That is my responsibility to maintain, but jeez. She's bad at ME?

Screw that.

Oh, and the dog is so distraught that he has diarrhea and pooped in her partners bed. That is apparently my fault.

I have done a forensic rewatch of the event over and over and I simply can't think I did anything wrong. After he bit me the first time, he ought to have backed off.

The friend wasn't there, by the way. I'd taken the dog to play with my dog because the owner had been so frustrated with him that she was _thrilled_ at the idea of babysitting him for a while.

I'm so deflated. I just can't even.

1998, y'all. I am a dinosaur.

I think I was 98, too. Maybe 99?

My first post was in May, 1999. My second was in October, 1999, then February, 2000.

She should have ditched her plans, taken you to the ER, and paid for EVERYTHING. I am furious on your behalf. I wish I lived closer! I wish I could come over and take care of you and clean up Cagney.

This! I am so sorry you have to deal with this.

My first post was 9/30/01. I never really lurked. I was wandering the internet avoiding any more news and found Bitches on WX. Hugs all of you tight, even the non-huggers, because hugs via internet are not so much with invading the personal space.

I possibly posted on TT before I read.

Bonny, I have no new words to add on how selfishly your former friend was behaving in this scenario--I just hope you can get some emotional and financial fairness out of the whole thing.

And if money is tight, can we help?

bonny, I think she needs to pay for the tetanus too. don't sell yourself short.

$$ may be tight, but you assume financial responsibility when your pet injures another, whether $$ is tight or not. Who does she expect to pay when the bill comes due?

bonny, I'm even madder at her now. She is telling herself a story wherein she is not at fault. her financial stressors are likely part of the unconscious impetus for that story*, but that doesn't really matter. She is. I know suing is probably the last thing that you want to do, but maybe start with a letter laying it all out and a bill? Sent certified mail?

We're all carrying a debt like this and I'm certainly not clearing mine with what I'm chipping in... but maybe its a debt we never "clear". Maybe it's an honor to carry it. Maybe it's a trust. Maybe you get to pay it back forever as much as you can.

Yup. I have been the beneficiary recently of generosity from both family and friends (including Buffistas), and it is touching and a bit overwhelming. There is such a strong culture of financial independence in this country that there is a lot of shame and guilt attached to needing help.

Maybe the tiny silver lining in this super shitty dark cloud economy is a strengthening of community - I'm speaking generally and not just of Buffistas. I have an acquaintance who celebrates Interdependence Day on July 4th every year.

I am so frustrated with work right now that I am a heartbeat away from going to buy a pack of cigarettes. Too long to splain or sum up. Just... AAAARRRGGGH.

* It reminds me of my former roommate who dicked me over for a couple of hundred dollars in water bills. I think she was so broke she convinced herself it was my fault that I couldn't get the landlord to chip in.

Thanks, everyone.

My business partner came this morning and took me to breakfast so that I could take my prescriptions without having to cook. I feel better.

le nubian, you said what _I_ would say if it were happening to someone else. If Cagney, god forbid, ever injured someone, or destroyed property, or whatever, I'd do whatever was necessary to fix it.

The thing that truly rankles is that I leash trained this woman's previous dog. I have worked with her other dog, who is dramatically dog aggressive and have been nothing but appreciative of the efforts she makes to care for the many, many creatures in her life. And, honestly, she is an angel for the creatures. I've always loved that about her.

But, in this instance, her first assumption is that I did something wrong. It just doesn't compute. I was totally calm about this whole deal...actually, much calmer than even _I_ could believe...and never once said a bad word about either her, or the dog. Thus the, 'you are such a good sport' comment.

In chatting with my friend this morning, I think I'm seeing a pattern of people in my life, for whom I've been super helpful or really 'there for them', who take that as some sort of sign that I can be walked on.

I don't get it, but I'm certainly seeing it.

Not sure what to do about it, but G and I both agreed that the answer is NOT to suddenly stop caring about others.

It's just...the former friend and I have been here for each other for a dozen years. It just doesn't make sense.

Pix, thank you so much for asking about finances. Right this minute, despite staggering debt, I'm holding my own. That might not last, but I'm not in immediate danger.

Bless all our hearts. I can't even express how grateful I am for your presence, your advice, your humor and, to be honest, your indignation. It all helps so much.