Sorry you are so stressed out right now, Teppy.

So very glad I live alone. Just fielded a call from a young gal whose roomate had stolen her panties. And she's pretty sure he's a registered sex offender but didn't tell her before she moved in...

ew.

ew.

ew.

Poor woman. Ick.

Steph, I hear you on the job freakout thing. And it's hard since you don't really know anything yet, so you don't know how seriously to start looking. Also, awwww Tim.

erin, that is entirely made of ew. And scary!

So, just in case you haven't read Depression Part 2 on Hyperbole and Half, here's a link: [link]

I'm somewhere between "my fish are dead" and "i hate everything." I had a long talk with my mentor about job stuff, and it's just all so fucking complicated and I hate it. And if my friend from HS doesn't stop encouraging me to start my own company I will kill him with my brain from here.

Remember the $25 gift card I was going to splurge with? I used it to buy groceries because I used my grocery money to buy food and an iced tea at the festival that I went to because it was free and I hoped it would improve my mood but instead vacillated between numb and hatred, as I mentioned.

I did discover a new to me band, Alexis and the Samurai (she was on The Voice, if she seems familiar). Here's a video of them at SXSW - [link]

oh smonster, that's such a hard space to be in. Many hugs to you.

smonster, I hate that you are suffering depression.

I feel as though I have gone past depression. My mood at any given time is generally ok. But I live in despair because I have to face that I will never have the things in life that I once lived in hope for. The times in the past that I didn't end it all were because things were going to get better and I was going to get this great life that would be worth living. Except now I know I won't have what I want. I have cats who are so loving to me that I do not want to let them down. I want to stick around for them. And I sometimes feel glad that they are older now because it won't be long before I can let go.

But we can't let you go, WindSparrow.

Andi, I'm not sure if you've had a recent loss or heartbreak, but it sounds like that? I'm so sorry. And Ginger is right - we won't let you go. I don't post very often anymore, but your post prompted me. I hope you have some local friends who can provide companionship - sometimes a person being present - not just online - can be so helpful.

Sammie's eleven. There are a few years yet before I come to the real end of the rope.

I just can't bear the idea of being imprisoned in this horrifying thing any longer than I have to. I know I am not supposed to say or think that. But the truth is that I think it whether or not I allow myself to say it. Telling me to fight those thoughts is not effective.

Andi, you contribute so much kindness and loving support in this thread. I only wish I could express how much I value your presence. I wish I was closer to give you hugs.