Congrats askye!

Go, askye! Congratulations!

For any of you wondering, the convo between my mom and SiL's mom was fine. She called my mom just to say she was sorry this was happening and how she loves my bro and our family, yada yada. Weird timing, though. Will try to keep my head from exploding before actual events next time.

Here, have this video highly recommended by my 6yo: [link]

That's great, askye!!!

GC, you can come here and explode anytime. You were worried about your mom and how all of this is affecting her. That's completely understandable.

I need a filter for facebook that will only let me see cute pictures and geeky things until after the election.

I need a filter for facebook that will only let me see cute pictures and geeky things until after the election.

Yeah, the problem with most people on my friends list hating Trump is that it still puts his rage-inducing face on my feed, because people keep posting articles about him.

ION, Jesus Christ, is therapy hard. HARRRRRRRRD. My brother, who is as fucked up as I am, started therapy in February when I went out there after he relapsed. And he texted me over the summer and said (paraphrased) "I go in to my therapy appointments thinking I'm going to talk about one thing, and it ALWAYS comes back to our parents."

And THAT shit? Is SO FUCKING TRUE. I thought I had dealt with my shit from my childhood (and teens and 20s and and and), but apparently I have not. I mean, my therapy in my 30s really did help me, especially w/r/t setting boundaries and enforcing them (though it works better with Mom than with Dad, but that's another story). But there is SO. MUCH. SHIT. left to drag out and punch in the face. Damn it. I really thought I had dealt with it and moved on.

Thanks. I'm so happy and I was confident and at ease which is good. Even better the internal critic is being really silent right now. Which is new and different and good.

Congrats, askye!

Steph, that sucks. But it's great that you're pushing through it. I hope that things get easier as you go along.

Good on ya for doing...and sticking with...the work, Steph. If you can avoid thinking about it in mathematical terms like, it might help. "Done" is the most relative term in the English language. Done with some does not equal done with all, and NOT being done does not equal anything, really.

This next thing I'm about to say, is not directed at you, Steph, but rather a general love I have for what I do and how confident 17 years of experience has made me in the truth that it is exactly what I am meant for.

One of the things I love most about my work is when a client comes in saying, "I don't have anything to talk about." Or, 'I hate this!" Especially when they are feeling bad about the process. THAT is when real magic can happen.

In re: it's all about the parents...I get how that can feel frustrating but, how could it _not_ be? In one particular way.

The vast majority of therapy is about assessing the patterns of thought and behavior that do and do not work in your adult life.

Your expectations and assumptions are forged in the very biological necessity of developing past the age when you are most vulnerable. Those e's and a's are absorbed (and I use that term as a matter of fact, since you begin integrating them before you have the cognitive ability to even realize you are learning anything) from your early caregivers and environment.

To my way of thinking, that makes 'it's all about X" neither good nor bad. Simply a matter of, "now what will I do about it."

Having been basically fine for four days, I'm now on the verge of a weepy meltdown. I've been in crisis mode for weeks and I'm looking at another month before this mess at work is sorted, and I'm already exhausted. I see the shrink today, if she can't do something to help me, I don't think I'm going back. What's the point?

Zen, insent.