Having been basically fine for four days, I'm now on the verge of a weepy meltdown. I've been in crisis mode for weeks and I'm looking at another month before this mess at work is sorted, and I'm already exhausted. I see the shrink today, if she can't do something to help me, I don't think I'm going back. What's the point?

Zen, insent.

I'm forgetting stuff too. Don't know if that's a side effect of the medication (that doesn't seem to be working) or if it's the stress. Either way, it can't go on. This is affecting my ability to do my job. Never mind live my life.

If I could go away somewhere calm and pleasant for a month, and come home to a reasonable workload and a clean house, I honestly think I'd be okay. I mean, still needing to fix my brain problems (I need dopamine!), but not in crisis mode anymore. Without that reset button, I don't know how to get there from here.

"I go in to my therapy appointments thinking I'm going to talk about one thing, and it ALWAYS comes back to our parents."

Haaaa...my therapist broke up with me over this. She (probably rightly) pointed out that until and unless I deal with my issues with my mother I am stuck. I replied that it's just so fucking cliche I can't stand it. She said to call when I felt like embracing that some cliches are cliches for a reason.

IOW, good on you for going to work on it still/again.

I just surprised myself with how much anger I still have over something I thought I dealt with. Like, raaaaaaaaaaaage. I'd like to work through it, though, so...yay therapy?

Few people enjoy super strong emotions, but that is some invaluable information...when you feel like that.

Yay you.

She said to call when I felt like embracing that some cliches are cliches for a reason.

I nearly spluttered my tea reading that!!

"Cliches are generally cliches for a REASON" falls from my lips multiple times in any given week. For serious.

I'm sorry, Teppy. It's hard, but good for you for wanting to put in the work. ltc is napping, and I have done the minimal clean up required before my in-laws visit. I think I'm actually feeling well enough today to drive; so, I might go out when they get here.

Lots of love for you, Zen. I am sorry you are having such a rough time of it this year between the election and the mess at your work. I hope your psychiatrist can do something useful for you.

Steph, that just sucks. I am glad you saw your therapist today, and I hope your process gets a little easier soon.

askye, congrats on your interview!

sj, I hope you get a nice chance to get out of the house.

Yay, askye!

Good for you for doing the work, Steph.

I think I'm going to take a vacation day from work next Monday, to get stuff done and general mental health. My sick/vacation time was completely screwed up by the new(ish) employer at the beginning of this year, so I have to be careful about budgeting my time off, but I've got stuff that needs to get done and several busy weekends coming up that won't allow the extra time, plus I think my truck needs to visit the mechanic again...plus I feel like if I don't take a day voluntarily, I'm going to get sick and be forced to take a day off yet not get anything done. Yeah, I keep arguing with myself about it, but I think I've worn me down.

Hope you enjoy your break, sj.

ION, I think this election has finally driven me to unfollow, and possibly unfriend somebody. I used to consider her a very good friend (though we haven't been close since she moved away) so I hate to do it, but her pattern on FB has escalated, culminating in her commenting on a mutual friend's post: "When will believers understand that Democrats hate us?" Because she's the type to dig in and strike back when disagreed with, I don't feel safe enough to point out that I'M a believer AND a Democrat, and that I don't hate anybody. It makes me so sad, but I clearly need to remove her from my life.