You can't open the book of my life and jump in the middle. Like woman, I'm a mystery.

Mal ,'Our Mrs. Reynolds'


Spike's Bitches 48: I Say, We Go Out There, and Kick a Little Demon Ass.  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


Calli - Oct 19, 2016 4:38:30 am PDT #27069 of 30002
I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul—Calvin and Hobbs

I do like the thing that's been going around on Tumblr, where you picture Donald Trump as the voice of your depression or anxiety. So when he says, "No one likes you," you can say, "Shut the fuck up, Donald," and it feels good.

This? Is perfect.


askye - Oct 19, 2016 4:50:49 am PDT #27070 of 30002
Thrive to spite them

I did something like the Donald Trump thing when I went to the beach. I had to drive through Tallahassee and I can't stop all the negative stuff that just rushes back BUT this time I decided to say "fuck you" to all of that - literally I flipped off every place that had a bad feeling attached to it as I drove by (kind of discretely I didn't want other drivers to think I was flpping them off,

I did it on the way back too and it staved off a lot of the feelings and anxiety.


askye - Oct 19, 2016 5:08:03 am PDT #27071 of 30002
Thrive to spite them

Steph I'm glad you are seeing your therapist tomorrow. I've found that the single biggest thing that has helped as been a good therapist. But my current one and the one in Vermont.

I didn't think I'd ever live outside of the hurt and crushing anxiety and they have both helped in some many ways.


Volans - Oct 19, 2016 6:29:49 am PDT #27072 of 30002
move out and draw fire

I can't say whether this works or not, but the opportunity to say "Shut the fuck up, Donald" should never be wasted.

This. I still picture my negative brain shit as brain weasels, but weasels can occasionally be kind of cute. OTOH I don't want to think of Donald Trump being in my brain.

Ativan, sleep, therapist, and STFUD sound like a good start, Tep.


smonster - Oct 19, 2016 6:59:20 am PDT #27073 of 30002
We won’t stop until everyone is gay.

Well, depression is the only thing that lies more than Trump, so it makes perfect sense.

Things that help me: Small steps. Focus on the task at hand. Set a timer. Take breaks. Take a short walk if it's nice outside. Prioritize. Pick the perfect music to pump you up (Hamilton) or calm you (Explosions in the Sky), as needed. Show yourself empathy out loud.

You are Hercules Mulligan. You're in the shit, somebody's gotta shovel it. When you get knocked down you get the fuck back up again.


Steph L. - Oct 19, 2016 7:04:20 am PDT #27074 of 30002
I look more rad than Lutheranism

You are Hercules Mulligan. You're in the shit, somebody's gotta shovel it. When you get knocked down you get the fuck back up again.

You know, every time I heard that line, I sang it and punched the air like a badass. Until about 2 months ago. Now every single time it makes me cry. I can't imagine not feeling like this. I don't think things will ever, ever be better.


Zenkitty - Oct 19, 2016 7:06:13 am PDT #27075 of 30002
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.

Things that help me: Small steps. Focus on the task at hand. Set a timer. Take breaks. Take a short walk if it's nice outside. Prioritize. Pick the perfect music to pump you up (Hamilton) or calm you (Explosions in the Sky), as needed. Show yourself empathy out loud.

Those things help me also. As well as reminding myself, out loud, often, that things are actually okay and it's gonna be fine and I can handle it.

I have been having to "breathe through" some awful emotions the last two weeks. My job performance has suffered, my personal life even more so. If this is my new normal, like you say, Steph - I gotta figure out how to live with it.


EpicTangent - Oct 19, 2016 7:06:44 am PDT #27076 of 30002
Why isn't everyone pelting me with JOY, dammit? - Zenkitty

I have nothing useful to add to what the others said, but I'm pulling for you, Steph.

eta And for you, Zen.


Steph L. - Oct 19, 2016 7:11:20 am PDT #27077 of 30002
I look more rad than Lutheranism

As well as reminding myself, out loud, often, that things are actually okay and it's gonna be fine and I can handle it.

I don't, actually, believe things are going to be fine. I didn't say that out loud until last night. But I don't. (And, obviously, I'm entirely unable to handle it.)


Zenkitty - Oct 19, 2016 7:13:29 am PDT #27078 of 30002
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.

Yeah, I hear you. I don't either. That's why I have to keep saying it. It's what I would say to a friend. You know, like you.