Also, officiating at our friends' wedding was an absolute joy. So much love in one place. It was wonderful. The weather was perfect, his parents' house and yard are lovely, the pack of small nieces and nephews running around were hilarious (I got one picture of the groom's 10-year-old daughter in a cute blue flowery dress, wielding 3 Nerf guns at the same time), there was a dog with a Pride flag necktie, and the ceremony went off without a hitch (except for the part where I realized that the ceremony as written -- written by the groom, I need to note -- had no part where they actually exchange the rings, so I muttered, "Here, take the rings! You didn't put that part in the ceremony!" and the groom said "I figured that was obvious!"). Everyone cried except me, and that's only because I practiced the ceremony like TEN TIMES to our dog so that I would be able to keep it together. (There was no option of silent little tears while I officiated; it would have either been full-on gasping weeping ugly crying -- which I think might have derailed the ceremony -- or holding it together like a boss.)

I did NOT use the chili recipe for the ceremony, but I threatened to do it about 50 times. Also, Daughter #1, who was going to wear her unicorn onesie and put the rings on the horn did NOT wear the unicorn onesie. Her dad vetoed it. But it all worked out okay anyway.

Sounds fantabulous, Steph!

the groom's 10-year-old daughter in a cute blue flowery dress, wielding 3 Nerf guns at the same time

The hero we need, the hero we deserve.

Tim's rheumatologist wasn't unduly concerned about Tim's low pulmonary test result. (Although he also wasn't as knowledgable about RA-related lung disease as I expected. I know he's not a pulmonologist, and I didn't expect that level of clinical detail, but lung disease is apparently common in people with RA, so I would expect a rheumatologist to have a decent general overview of it.)

Still, he listened to Tim's lungs and said they sound fine, and looked at his chest X-ray from May and said there's nothing amiss on there. He said it's a good idea to follow up with the pulmonologist, but that he's not concerned.

So my worry level has dropped from about a 9 to a 4.5 (on a scale of 1-10, where 1 is "Ain't Give A Fuck" and 10 is "Everything Is On Fire Including Me"). I'm still concerned, and I will be until the pulmonologist can tell us what, specifically, is going on. But I'm less panicked. At least, right now. Who knows, the panic might come back tomorrow.

I'm glad the panic is at bay for now, Steph.

It could just be that I'm exhausted, and also feel like I'm fighting a cold. I'm too tired to panic. But I'll take it.

I wish dinner would magically arrive. And yes, many places in my area deliver -- BUT I don't currently know what I want for dinner, so it would have to be magical *mind-reading* dinner delivery.

Magical mind-reading dinner delivery service would be AWESOME. It could be a little of everything. Like samosas and deep-dish pizza and unagi. And cake. (I don't actually want any of those.)

Magical mind-reading dinner delivery service would be AWESOME. It could be a little of everything. Like samosas and deep-dish pizza and unagi. And cake. (I don't actually want any of those.)

...I kind of want all of those now (except the unagi. I'll substitute poke, whose menu I was just looking at because I drove past the place yesterday)

You know what's GREAT as sushi? Red snapper. I might even be willing to eat it as sashimi, because its texture is incredibly firm. (Sashimi is 100% a textural issue for me; the fish on its own is too...wobbly? without the rice of the nigiri to balance it out.)

Glad your worry level has dropped some, Steph.

And that reminds me that I was supposed to call a rheumatologist today, and didn't. Instead, I cleaned my kitchen, read some more Cursed Child, and went to the park to catch Pokemon. And now I'm trying to watch the Olympics, but my reception is crap. I think I need to find a better place to put my antenna.

I am in a bad place with money.

Which really shouldn't be a surprise because I spend it like I have stuff coming in and also if I get upset I spend money. I emailed my therapist to talk baout this Thursday.

Also I applied for a part time inventory job at Best Buy. I feel iffy on it but I'm hoping I'll at least get an interview based on my previous experience. I looked at other part time jobs but they seem like a bad fit either because of hours or because of the type of job. I need to start doing more around the house and pushing myself. I've let things get to a state of just drifting because the thought of doing anything where I might have an anxiety attack makes me anxious.

Anticipatory anxiety sucks, But it's getting better. Somewhat.