Oh those might work. I haven't looked at Signals in ages.

I hope it's not super-serious, Tep.

Not true. You look things up and you care, that is not nothing.

This needed repeating.

askye, could you wear a long necklace with a couple of small charms on it, and fiddle with them? That's what I do -- it's part of the reason I wear long, jingly necklaces. (The other reason being I apparently need to own all the ankhs and keys, but that's a different thing entirely.)

Steph - think ing all the good thouhts and , form what you said, it sounds like things will be ok.

and I love the vision of you as Daffy duck, even if it less than fun to be daffy duck ( I do daffy duck a lot -- but I call it letting my inner teenager out - because that is who I work with )

askye - so glad people have ideas and can help you

Teppy, you probably know this, but remember that Doctors are told to mention worst possible outcome to preempt malpractice suits later on. They will almost always tell you the unlikely but most serious possibility, rather than the more likely prosaic one. Which sucks for patients and family, but it's the way it is.

I'm not really a jewelry person. I wore the pendant Will gave me and would fidget with that and in high school I wore a necklace but it's not my thing. I mean I don't think it makes sense when I wear such plain clothes and currently don't go out or do much. Although I realize that it really doesn't matter it just feels...I don't know how to describe it.

But I'll keep looking and I appreciate the suggestions. I'll keep an eye out when I'm in stores so I can try things on.

askye, how about worry beads?

Maybe, I'll actually look at stuff.

It would be nice to have something to fidget with and add that to my arsenal.

I really need to talk to my therapist about a script for my mother, I don't think she really believes my diagnosis and keeps saying I never did any of this until it was suggested to me.

They will almost always tell you the unlikely but most serious possibility, rather than the more likely prosaic one.

And to give warning that he's no longer in the "Not a problem to be seen" category but in the "the odds are not as favorable as they are for people who don't have RA" category. So colds and coughs get to be taken a step more seriously than otherwise and more tests than average may be required.

Teppy, you probably know this, but remember that Doctors are told to mention worst possible outcome to preempt malpractice suits later on. They will almost always tell you the unlikely but most serious possibility, rather than the more likely prosaic one. Which sucks for patients and family, but it's the way it is.

That's true. And Tim had a chest x-ray within the last 4-5 months -- the results were totally unremarkable. Neither his PCP or rheumatologist thought there was anything concerning about it.

His PCP is the one who ordered the pulmonary function test in response to Tim saying he had occasional chest pain on the right side (which is the side of the collapsed lung). And I'm glad his PCP was so responsive.

Between his clean x-ray and his lack of any symptoms other than occasional pain on the side where his lung collapsed, I'm hoping SUPER hard that his reduced lung function is just an anomaly, and his lung function is just not in line with other 50-year-old men. Or I'm rooting for asthma. Asthma would be fine. It would be great, comparatively. (He doesn't actually have symptoms of asthma.)

I'm still stressed today, but trying not to flip out and catastrophize until he sees the pulmonary specialist. It's just -- some of the lung diseases that can develop in people with RA are fatal, relatively quickly (3-5 years). Do I think Tim has the horrible fatal lung disease? Probably not. Can I stop myself from worrying that he *might* have it? NOPE.

I hate this fucking year. I feel like we're under a curse.