I would do a crayon red streak or two if I didn't have to bleach but my hair is too dark.

I ran out of time to go to the library before I had to get home so the inlaws could go. Not that I need any more reading material, but I could use more social interaction. Oh well, Thessaly is coming by tomorrow and we're going to attempt to go to a farmers market in another town since we missed the one here on Tuesday.

Yes, Zen. ExActly what I do. I am just hating on myself so much lately.

But you have a BABY. The need for sleeping whenever possible when you have a baby trumps everything else!

Hair is problematic. It never does what you want.

But you have a BABY.

Seriously, if you haven't noticed yet it is very depleting to ones energy stores.

I just feel that at this point I should be doing more than the minimum of keeping her fed and clean and safe. She's such a good baby, she deserves better.

sj, darling woman, even I, childless, from here, can tell you're doing way more than the minimum of child care. She's got everything she needs and her happiness and how much she's loved shines out of every photo I see of her.

sj - she HAS YOU. She has loving parents who care about her. Who see to her needs. She is a good baby. You are a HUGE part of that.

I know it is draining. I know it is so easy to second guess yourself. But I hate to see you talk down about yourself. The major component of parenting is about keeping the kid fed, clean, and safe. Anything beyond that is bonus.

All she needs is to feel safe and loved. You got this. I don't know what else you think you are supposed to be doing, but I do know that all the best Moms I have known all felt like they were inadequate. So did I. I think I am finally over that. I kept them fed, clean, and safe, and they always knew they were loved. I'll declare it a win.

I don't know. Read to her more. Hold her more? Hold her less? Is she playing by herself too much? Should I be actively trying to teach her things? Am I watching too much tv around her? Will my depression rub off on her? So much to worry about. I had a good cry earlier and then TCG came home and made dinner (which I also fee guilty about). My allergies are really bothering me, and I have a headache. Maybe I'll actually sleep tonight.

sj, the mere fact that you worry about those things shows how good a mother you are.

Oh sj, I promise you it would be surprising if you weren't suffering with these thoughts. It is natural, and no fun. You are a wonderful loving mom and your daughter and husband are blessed to have you in their lives.