I just feel that at this point I should be doing more than the minimum of keeping her fed and clean and safe. She's such a good baby, she deserves better.

sj, darling woman, even I, childless, from here, can tell you're doing way more than the minimum of child care. She's got everything she needs and her happiness and how much she's loved shines out of every photo I see of her.

sj - she HAS YOU. She has loving parents who care about her. Who see to her needs. She is a good baby. You are a HUGE part of that.

I know it is draining. I know it is so easy to second guess yourself. But I hate to see you talk down about yourself. The major component of parenting is about keeping the kid fed, clean, and safe. Anything beyond that is bonus.

All she needs is to feel safe and loved. You got this. I don't know what else you think you are supposed to be doing, but I do know that all the best Moms I have known all felt like they were inadequate. So did I. I think I am finally over that. I kept them fed, clean, and safe, and they always knew they were loved. I'll declare it a win.

I don't know. Read to her more. Hold her more? Hold her less? Is she playing by herself too much? Should I be actively trying to teach her things? Am I watching too much tv around her? Will my depression rub off on her? So much to worry about. I had a good cry earlier and then TCG came home and made dinner (which I also fee guilty about). My allergies are really bothering me, and I have a headache. Maybe I'll actually sleep tonight.

sj, the mere fact that you worry about those things shows how good a mother you are.

Oh sj, I promise you it would be surprising if you weren't suffering with these thoughts. It is natural, and no fun. You are a wonderful loving mom and your daughter and husband are blessed to have you in their lives.

Today is not going well. ltc woke up cranky. A gallon of water launched itself off the counter when no one was in the room and spilled all over the slippery tile floor. It's a high pain day and a bad allergy day. It's probably going to rain, which would mean no farmers market. I really need to shower instead of nap while ltc sleeps, but I'm filled with the don't wannas.

Can you take a really quick shower and then nap?

Also you are a great mother.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to have a meltdown and flounce off. I ended up taking a nap anyway because there didn't feel like there was any other choice. As soon as I heard her start to stir, I jumped in the shower. She ended up going back to sleep when I didn't come in immediately. She needed the extra sleep anyway because she's teething and is a crank monster. Thessaly came over and brought me birthday prezzies, a Jane Austen coloring book and chocolate, because she's awesome like that. We went to a different farmers market and I bought some goodies. Now I'm home with what feels like the start of a migraine, and TCG made me a grilled cheese for dinner.