not the worst I've been but it's difficult because I don't have a great connection with this therapist. I don't think it's a good fit and we jumped in the deep end.

I don't know what to do about that.

I wanted to come home and just.. I don't know, fall apart and I couldn't because E was here and I couldn't just hide in my room either and he didn't want to do his homework or finish his Valentine's or pay attention. I'm realizing I like kids in small doses and there's not goign to be a lot of small doses.

Right now I'm alone but only for another hour.

Mom freaks out or gets angry or just doesn't understand.

And I keep thinking about self harm which I haven't done and I won't but it's just one more thing to deal with.

That's hard, askye.

Is there anything particular you can do as a safety plan to avoid self-harm?

I'm sorry, askye. That's too much to deal with.

I'm distracting myself for the most part.

I may try to reach out to the therapist tomorrow.

askye, would it help to have someone call or IM you? If so, I'll happily do it (and I bet many other Bitches will too), and if not, just know that we're all sending you all the ~ma we've got.

I appreciate but I think I'm going to lie down for awhile and see if I feel better.

I hope the bit of alone time and rest helped, askye.

I don't know if I feel all that better but I was able to make dinner.

That's great, askye. Being able to do that is important, plus then, you have dinner, which also helps!

I'm sorry that the only support that I can offer is that I am on your side, askye. I wish I had wise and soothing words.