I'm sorry, smonster. ~ma to you and to Xusha. I hope your insurance cooperates with what the doctor thinks you need.

I don't think I actually had a chance to post this weird observation I had about being a disabled mommy, but forgive me if I'm repetitive. I realized the other day that I have only ever put shoes on myself over my hard leg braces, which is much different then trying to get shoes onto squirmy soft little baby feet. Not good or bad, just a weird little observation I made.

sj, squirmy baby feet are a challenge to anyone.

It's like, I had myself convinced that I was handling everything okay and managing my various conditions, and someone saying with compassion, "no, you have things happening that we need to look at" pulled at the thread that was holding me together. Xusha was the cherry on top. Looking at pilling her twice a day: once for acid reflux, once for hypertension. Wish me luck! She's handling the blindness well, kitties can. But damn, it happened fast. And I didn't notice until it had already happened, which is apparently common.

It's a bad pain day, too. But I got sushi delivered and I think it's shower, muscle relaxant, and bed early for me.

I'm sorry about Xusha and the other stuff, smonster.

sj, squirmy baby feet are a challenge to anyone.

Oh, I know. It's just I realize I have no idea how to pull up shoes over a soft heel. It never feels like it's completely in the shoe.

Oh, man, I HATE it when I get hit with reminders that I really don’t have my shit together as much as I wish I did. I had a really bad reminder this weekend.

I'm cold. And I ordered Indian food, and it came, and it wasn't vegan even though I'd ordered it vegan. And then I had to make two phone calls and talk to three people in order to get a refund. And making the phone calls made me miss the beginning of The Flash.

Trying to decide what to do with the non-vegan food. I could offer it to my neighbors, but that seems weird, so I'll probably just end up throwing it out, which seems wasteful.

I could offer it to my neighbors, but that seems weird

My neighbors have offered me their non-vegetarian food before, when they've accidentally gotten some. I appreciate it and find it a decent solution to the dual problems of (a) not throwing away food and (b) I don't cook. But we're already friendly, so I can see how it might feel uncomfortable if you don't already know each other.

I know them a little bit, but not really well enough to feel comfortable with that. Plus, I'm already in pajamas, and I don't feel like changing into real clothes.

The part of this order that is vegan is really spicy. I could choose from a spice scale from 0 to 10, and I went with 3. Usually, I like moderately spicy stuff, but this is really hot. I can't imagine what 10 would be.

I had a really bad reminder this weekend.

I'm sorry to hear this. But you have come a long way and are doing well in so many ways. Try to not get too hung up on the rough bits.