ION, I've realized that I can be considered lucky in my current circumstances. I'm corresponding with a 72-year-old woman whose suffering the same kind of debilitating joint and back issues Hubby had. She's also the primary caretaker of an older husband in seriously declining health. She can't get the treatments she needs, because her husband is in no shape to care for her and because it's so hard to find someone to take care of her husband when she's out of action. I met her on the widow board, because she wanted to talk to people who had taken care of a declining spouse. She's been writing to me for commiseration in dealing with recalcitrant medical people and stubborn pain issues.

It's strange giving advice to someone 18 years older than me, and I kind of hate myself for being so grateful that I'm not in her position. I dreaded the idea of trying to care for Hubby if he was unable to take care of himself. I'm relatively young and comparatively well off, with a good chunk of life left and the means to enjoy it. I am so very, tragically lucky. The universe has not presented me with anything I can't cope with, and my brain goes into gibbering jelly when imagining trying to cope with being 72 and half-disabled and having to care for someone older and more decrepit. I hope I can be of help to her.

Guys, I am having a super hard time dealing with stress. And it's not an inordinate amount of stress; it's just standard work stuff. My coping strategies are crap.

I just wanted to say that out loud.

I should go see my doctor about my antidepressant. I'm not sure if I need to switch to a new one (I'm on the highest dose) or just go off it. I originally went on it for anxiety, and my baseline anxiety went down at first, but has crept back up a little.

Therapy would give me some useful coping strategies, but -- and I recognize the total unhealthiness of this -- I told Tim last night I'm not ready to see a therapist. I get that that's shooting myself in the foot, but I'm just not willing to see a therapist right now.

So, yeah. Not dealing with stress well at all. Poot.

Ginger, I hope you've found a ride.

Connie, it's very kind of you to be there for this woman. I think being thankful that your situation was different is a pretty human feeling. It'd be weird to be like, damn, I wish my suit had sucked WORSE.

askye, I'm hoping this move is a good one for you. Again, you fight so hard for what you need and I'm proud of you for that.

sj, glad you have us to vent to. It's so hard when people are trying to help and do it wrong, I get angry at them and angry at myself for getting angry. Hope you get better sleep soon.

Good luck with the doctor stuff, Hil. I'm glad you were able to get the prescription you needed easily.

Oh, yeah -- Hil, was it my doctor's office? Just curious. (My insurance doesn't require referrals, so I don't know their policy on referrals.)

Steph, if you don't feel up to going to a therapist what about finding information online and trying one thing to help deal with anxiety. Or download one of the many apps out there for stress and anxiety.

Switching to a new med might help.

I know with all therapy stuff that I've been through the anxiety coping stuff I've learned has been the most helpful and that's stuff I could have learned on my own.

I know with all therapy stuff that I've been through the anxiety coping stuff I've learned has been the most helpful and that's stuff I could have learned on my own.

Yeah, I really do need to learn some coping skills. I could do some research on my own, yeah.

coping skills

I still need to figure out that I'm not living at home with my parents any more, I'm safe, Other People aren't going to attack me like my Dad did, and it's OK to grieve what happened to me and move on with my life.

It's a lot harder than it sounds.

Teppy, you have all my empathy with the lack of coping skills. One of the reason that my pregnancy was so stressful for me was because I couldn't fall back on any unhealthy coping skills, and I have no healthy ones at all.

IOwhinyN, it must be a terrible allergy season this year because every time I leave the house I get a splitting headache. On the days I don't leave the house, I'm fine.

IOadorableN, I currently have a 7 week old snoring adorably in her bouncy seat. I'm hoping it lasts long enough to finish my latte.

Oh, yeah -- Hil, was it my doctor's office? Just curious. (My insurance doesn't require referrals, so I don't know their policy on referrals.)

It was the one you recommended, but at their office in Norwood, since that's where she is on Thursdays, and Thursday is really the only day I can go to appointments. The referral isn't an insurance thing -- the connective tissue clinic will only see people with a referral from the primary care doctor.

It was the one you recommended

Dr. M? I've only seen her a few times, and I really like her. My mom LOVES her.

The referral isn't an insurance thing -- the connective tissue clinic will only see people with a referral from the primary care doctor.

Ah, got it.